Episode LXXV: “Sneaky – Sneaky!”

OK to all my girls we all know that when we are not in a relationship or we don’t have big plans we tend to let ourselves go sometimes. Well that has happened to me the last week and today I paid for my mistake. I went in to the doctor for a fairly routine reason and that sneaky little man sprung the unmentionable on me. So now as I sit here at work the moment I get home I am taking my 2nd shower of the day and I am going to de-hair-ify myself. Why you ask the damage is already done – because this is apparently why mom always tells you to wear clean underwear. You never know.

Episode LXXIV: “Girls, What’s my Weakness.”

BIG MACS!

Seriously had one heck of a night last night – had a bad day wanted to kill people. Went out and got completely wasted and was home by 10:30. Short night but filled with my emotional maelstrom that would rival hurricane Katrina. She’s up she’s down she’s mad at everyone she’s crying so hard she’s shaking.

Yeah: Me – Me – Me – I – I –I!

Now anyone that knows me knows I don’t get mad very often I tend to hold it in which isn’t exactly healthy but it works for me. Then about once a year I have a melt down and there usually is a big argument and then I feel better (usually my mom is the one who gets to see this softer side of Keri). Well there was almost one of these full blown episodes last night except all day yesterday everybody could sense I was mad so no one would argue with me and I need to argue to get it out – so now it’s just going to fester and last until I can have a good row with someone. So I guess that was everyone’s warning – stand back.

Episode LXXIII: “SUPER STAR!”

So I had a blast on Friday night – didn’t even make it home to my own bed. Instead I completely invaded Lexie’s. Tore up her living room and ate her food. It was fabulous I however did pay for it on Saturday with a fabulous hangover. But I vegged all day on Sunday to make up for it. Of course now my own house is trashed and I have to do some major cleaning today. Oh well. At least I know for sure that Lexie is so my home girl who else can you show up at their house at 3:00 am and just invite yourself in. Much love to you girl.

Episode LXXII: “I nearly fainted in the WalMart dressing room.”

Seriously! I was walking by the jeans section which is the same jeans I have on today. On a whim I decided to try on a pair of size 9 since the ones I have on are a little baggy. I pulled them up and zipped them without having to suck it in and then I’m pretty sure that the people who work there think I’m a big freak because I was like WOOHOO! I haven’t worn that size since my senior year in high school. Damn that was a great year too – oh so much fun. Anyway I just thought I would share with everyone.

By the way I also went tanning on my lunch and now I have that nice burnt smell. I figured out that I only get that smell when I use the tanning lotions but it’s not enough for me not to use it.

A little tanner and skinnier up here in the frozen north.

Episode LXXI: “Boogada Boogada AH AH AH!”

Well Happy Halloween to everyone. Sorry for the delay in the blogging it’s been kind of hectic and I wasn’t really feeling it.

Here is my question do you believe in premonitions? I do my family has had some pretty strange things happen that lead me to believe in them. So with this in mind I tell everyone that everything is going to be just ducky for me.

Lately I have been catching up on some well needed sleep and just relaxing. I did have a slight melt down on Friday and actually ran away from my own house – is that weird? Have you ever just had the urge to just be by yourself? Well I did Friday. I needed to get away and think I tried to run to my happy place – which is Big Lake because I am always happy when I am out there – however the Big Lake Motel is under remodel and I couldn’t get a room so I had to back track to Wasilla and checked into the Best Western Lake Lucille Inn. I have been to this hotel before so I knew that the suites had a Jacuzzi tub. Well I did it I splurged on a two room suite. It seriously took nearly 45 minutes to fill the tub up because it’s a double but once it was I grabbed my Bacardi Razz and sprite and hopped in and relaxed watching TV (YO Harry Potter) it was the best then I was in bed early and up the next morning at 9:30 am. I woke up and did that whole Disney thing of whipping the curtains open and the view was astounding. One of the sun shiniest days we have had in a while and the lake was mostly frozen over and white and the mountains in the background – I really do love this state. Suddenly my state of mind changed and I was having a really darn good day (impressive considering I am not normally even technically alive at that time in the morning on a weekend). So I drove home and I have been good ever since.

So yes I am still alive and no I have not started my hibernation yet. Hope everyone else is all good – much love.

Episode LXX: “Simon says – WAKE UP!”

In 89 days it will have been exactly 5 years that I have lived up here in Anchorage (that is so surreal). When I first moved up here I didn’t know anyone and I had no family close by. (I have a grandfather out in Palmer – who I just met when I first moved up here and I had an aunt that lived out in Kenai) For the most part though I was on my own. I had never lived on my own either. So after spending the first couple weeks scared out of my mind in my house trying to get use to the noises I asked the people that I work with to look after me. For some reason I had this irrational fear of me dying alone (which wouldn’t be so bad) but if that happened I was afraid that Pucky would starve to death before anyone realized I was gone.

Now I have never done a “no call, no show” ever in my life. So I told the people I work with that and said that if I was ever more then 30 minutes late and had not called in to call me and if I did not respond in a timely manner to come over to my house and look for me because I am probably dead. Now I have been late and sometimes I have forgotten to change my alarm clock or to set it. However my body usually wakes me up about ten minutes before I have to be to work (usually in panic mode) this function works on the weekends too when I am still asleep and not sure what day of the week it is. This usually gives me enough time to call in and say I am going to be late.

However two weeks ago my alarm didn’t go off and my body didn’t wake me up. So work called me at home 30 minutes after my shift should have started and woke me up. I panic barely got dressed I was so upset I would have totally ran out of the house naked. Now further investigations revealed that my alarm clock was possessed. Now I knew this since it would randomly go off for no reason in the middle of the night or if my cell phone got a message or a call, but it never had not gone off when it was suppose too. So alarm clock was fired. However I was too broke then to go out and buy a new one so I continued to use it while also using my cell phone as a back up because that was not happening again, EVER!

Well to the point of my story – last night I went out and purchased a new alarm clock. When you first get an alarm clock even if you test it the first couple of nights your always worried about it not going off or not going to be loud enough. So last night I set it up but didn’t test it because I figured my backups would be good if it didn’t work. So I set my cell phone and a travel alarm clock both of which are fairly soft alarms they both sort of just annoy you until you wake up. This morning I woke up to what sounded like a direct signal from the system Vega right into my brain. “Simon says get up – NOW!” Of course I jump out of my skin and start flailing about for the snooze button, once I finally get it turned off the other ones start going off. Now I like to snooze plus I was so confused that I couldn’t figure out how to turn anything off. So I snoozed them all and dozed back off. Then again they went off this happened for almost and hour (needless to say my bed companions (dogs, cat, boy) were not real pleased). Oh well I know that I won’t be late again.

Episode LXIX: “Hey Where Did Everybody GO!”

Well my weekend was good in the long run.

Friday – Well it just sucked – but my girl Lexie was there to save me and brought me over a care package – which included rum and soon everything was just SWELL.

Saturday – I started my evening out by getting dressed up formally to attend a Breast Cancer Charity Ball (I was joined by Lexie and Melody) it was cool the food was awesome ( I am all over that cream sauce). Then we left there and Me and Mel made a quick debut at Kootz in our lovely finery and I do me quick it was the shortest time I have ever spent at Kootz. I however did go home and change and then go back there in the comfort of Yellow Cab. I hung out with my boys in the Swing Bar until they opened – they are trying to get me a job there doing some MIC work (you know hollering at the crowd and pumping everyone up) but that is not all I would have to do and they waited until I was drunk – to lay this one on me. I would also be the cage dancer for the R & B side. Yep that’s right – Shiny! I tried to back peddle my way out saying my body was not good enough for that but they weren’t going for it then I said I didn’t have anything to wear and they mentioned a clothing allowance. (I’ll admit – that got me – until I sobered up the next day – then I was like “What the Hell was I thinking”) Anyway! Thank the powers that be that I didn’t turn the application in that night like I was going too. Serves me right for going there with out my backup.

Well Poppy, Mark and I went back to my house to party and we left Kootz before 11:00. Then we waited on the others to join us which they did about 1:15 am. Then we continued to party all night long. Finally we put in the Transformer movie in at 7:30 am and Poppy and I were passed out on the couch in 15 mins. I woke up at 9 am and looked around wondering where everyone else had gone until I found a note in my kitchen saying they left. Damn – sneaky people. So I retired up to my room and slept until 1 pm. Then we just chilled most of the day on Sunday.

Over the course of Friday Night through Sunday Night I managed to (partially) watch Transformers 4 times. I think I have memorized the movie – but it is an awesome movie.

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE - I will reign victorious for many years to come.