Thursday, July 17, 2008

Episode CXIII: “Drunk Phone Calls”

Now I do this – most of you have been victims of this before. However last night at 3AM my cell phone rings and I look it’s not a number I recognize so I say screw it and go back to sleep. Then it rings again at 4 AM and I decide to answer and give whoever it is a piece of my mind. This is how the conversation goes:

Me: “Hello”
Caller: “Hey you want to smoke a blunt?”
Me: “What? Who is this?”
Caller: “It’s James” – (This is not the James most of you are thinking of he knows better this is James #2)
Me: “James who?”
Caller: “James M. I met you at the bar”
Me: “Are you sure? Who are you trying to reach?”
Caller: “Keri”
Me: “That’s me and you say I know you and gave you my number?”
Caller: “Yes – I remember because it’s Keri with a K”
At this point I’m like shit that is what I say – damn it I do know this guy and I am starting to remember who he is the problem is I removed his number from my phone because I hadn’t heard from him in almost a year. Who randomly calls up someone they haven’t talked to in almost a year at 4AM in the morning on a week day and asks them if they want to smoke a blunt? I haven’t done that since I can’t remember when and certainly not with this guy. Back to the conversation:
Me: “OK I think I know who you are now. However about your request – I’ll pass but thanks for offering”
Caller: “OK I will let you go then”
Me: “Yeah Kay Good Night”

I mean really I guess it serves me right for answering the phone but curiosity got the better of me. Oh well.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Episode CXII: “Melody Called Me A SADIST”

Which is not “ENTIRELY” true. But I have once again been elevated to the top of her stab list. Apparently she has never WAXED she is a pluck and shave kind of girl. So one night we got into a conversation about the benefits of waxing and she agreed to try it out. Now that I think back on it I should have sent her to a professional first, it being her first time and everything – it always hurts more when you do it yourself because you know when your going to pull therefore you know when the pain is coming. Well hind sight is 20/20. Anyway she did stick with it and didn’t chicken out but half way through she did have to drink a little courage to finish. Now how we managed to get wax all over the bathroom floor I am not rightly sure but it is worse then a bar bathroom and you almost feel like you want to wear shower shoes to walk in there. Here’s to a hair free world.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Episode CXI: “Tampa Bay “Rays” – are WHAT!”

So apparently the “Rays” are currently number one in the nation. Does that seem right to anyone? I mean having spent a good portion of my childhood in Tampa I feel a connection for the place. I also supported the “Bucs” while I was down there and even after I left and they finally won the SuperBowl a week after I moved up here to Alaska. So once that was done I changed my allegiance to the next underdog the Seattle Seahawks they came close to winning the SuperBowl but were robbed!

So now with the Rays in the running – I have no choice but to root for them considering that Tampa Bay and Seattle are the only other two places I have been for longer then I have been in Alaska.