Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Seriously I have been up since 6:00 am this morning helping Poppy move. There is nothing like breaking a sweat that early in the morning moving a couch so heavy that it could be used as an anchor for an ocean liner. I now feel that I deserve a milkshake among other things. (Note: The U-Haul on Old Seward – SUCKS they can’t even keep their bay doors working – black mark for you U-Haul.) If I owned that couch I would have hauled back and kicked it (it wouldn’t have helped but it would have made me feel better) alas it was not mine so I had to content myself with giving it the evil eye! I’m watching you couch – me and you lets step outside! “Scat!”
Where am I?
What day is it?
Obviously the lack of my usual ten hours of sleep a night are finally starting to take it’s toll on me – HECK, I might just sleep all day tomorrow – instead of doing the things I need to like cleaning and running errands.
I do not have to work tomorrow because I took the day off from everywhere so I will be going out tonight – however I will not be posting anything until Thursday. If you get bored feel free to talk amongst yourselves. Keep it clean (I’m looking at you TOOL!)
Monday, July 30, 2007
Friday – Get off work – then swing by Marcella’s BBQ briefly to give her a birthday card (HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!), but then I had to run because the plan was to go and see Harry Potter – well once we got to the theater it was just way to crazy – so Melody and I went for dinner at Applebee’s and then called up Lexie and Blondie and discovered them sitting at The Crossroads – so we decided to join them there. Well about 9:00 I start to get a headache and feel tired so I leave the girls to carry on without me and go home and fall into bed (Hey I have had late nights for the last couple of weeks and it’s finally catching up with me). Well at some point I can’t remember the times I get a phone call from Lexie & Melody – apparently they had decided to hit most the bars downtown and Blondie decided to take a cab home (she was so running away from the other girls). Then while I was on the phone with Lexie she walked by the gaslight and puts Tool on the phone (Hi Tool.) Then she gets back on the phone and informs me to basically get my butt out of bed and meet them at Kootz. I do and in the time it takes me to get there Lexie has proceeded to drop her cell phone in the toilet at Kootz and Melody fishes it out for her – and I’m sure they are both going to get some sort of flesh eating disease. I don’t know what time I went home but I had to get up and be functional for my first whole day at my new job 3 to close standing and running around all day.
Saturday – Went to work and got off at 11:10pm and then briefly met up with everyone at Kootz again, I got there at midnight and left at 1:30 – I was tired, hungry and not looking my best and frankly my feet were killing me. So I went home and did some laundry and stuffed my face with comfort food to the point I almost made myself sick by eating too much. Apparently after I left the girls kept on partying and I did receive several drunken phone calls but that might be because I sort of sneaked away. I didn’t want anyone talking me out of not going. I’m told there was some sort of cab incident – but whatever – whenever is there not incidents.
Sunday – Roommate Sam called from Utah at 9:30 in the morning – (he knows better then to do that, I don’t know what came over him or what he was thinking). Well I figured that if I had to be up so did everyone else. So since I needed to borrow a work truck to help “Poppy” move I made Lexie and Melody come over to drive me to get it. We brought it back and then we all snuggled on the bed and then I got up and had to be to work again at 2 and more standing (MY LEGS ARE KILLING ME AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO TRADE I WOULD BE MORE THEN HAPPY TOO!) I got off at 9:15 last night and then Lexie calls me and when I call her back (A guy answers the phone and has me going for a split second on some story and then I realize that it is some guy messing with me – but I for the life of me can’t figure out who would be with Lexie.) So I hang up and a moment later it hits me and I have to call back. Yup – I totally forgot Mike (from Florida) just got into town that afternoon. So once I call him on it he says I have to come down and meet them at the Pioneer downtown and that he’s not taking NO for an answer. Well I haven’t seen him in forever so I head down there and stay until 11:00 and then I come home and wait on “Poppy” so I can make a run with the truck and then return it to work. I think we got done by about one-ish. But I didn’t get to sleep until about 2:30 so I’m tired my legs are still killing me and I really just want to go home and crawl into bed and sleep the day away. Suppose to have a BBQ at my house tonight but it’s raining so I don’t think that is going to happen. I’ll let you know though.
P.S. Mike is here for like 12 days – so expect major partying and I have every intention of feeling his muscles up close and personal. Not to mention I think we will have to have a snuggle off – I am so going to win! Because I AM AWESOME!
Friday, July 27, 2007
This is your Queen of Kootz signing off.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
So I totally just drank coffee. Now I am jamming out and my chair dancing skills are smokin and I’m bouncing off the walls listening to Peter, Paul and Mary.
“Lemon Tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet, but the fruit of poor lemon is impossible to eat.”
Next up: I’m leaving on a Jet Plane, Puff the Magic Dragon and back flips off my desk top.
Coffee is my Crack – which is why I don’t drink it much.
“Luke, I am your Father.”
Come to think about it now – that was DUMB I am surprised I made it up the stairs to the stage going that fast I could have totally injured something or someone. Oh well I have enthusiasm – GO ME! “Burrrr its cold in here there must be some Kare Bears in the atmosphere!”
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
OK so to be honest I had a shitty day yesterday and all I could think about for the last half of my work day was that I really just wanted to go home and take a bath. However I have a regular size bathtub and well cramming a six foot frame into it isn’t as relaxing as it sounds. So I called up Lexie’s parents and informed them I would pay them to allow me to come over and invade their home and most especially their big ass tub. What was that I’m family so I can come over (HA – I’m back in the will Lexie).
So once I lower myself into the hot water and my legs were straight and every part of my body was actually under water a sigh escaped my lips and yes I bit my lip and made the “O” face. Then not to be out done by Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman I went all the way under and I guess I was too relaxed because all of the sudden water is rushing up my nose and I’m drowning in someone bath tub WTF! (So not my day!) I come sputtering up and now my nose burns (but Hey my sinuses are cleaned out). Well I relax again and begin to almost float (with my face above water). Then Lexie comes in and asks if I want ice cream. Ice Cream while sitting in the bath – HELL YES – MAY I HAVE ANOTHER! I am a celebrity you will worship me and in preparation for that day Lexie also took a picture of me with my ice cream in the tub and then something happened and the picture got sent somewhere – of course it won’t surface until I become famous then it will be splashed all over the internet. Currently this photo resides on my phone and will be brought out at drunk moments, YeHaw! Whatever once I was done with my soak and had turned fully into a prune. I left Lexie at her parents and went home.
When I die please bury me in that tub.
P.S. Lexie’s parents are in my will (you will get a whole 5 cents each) – I will forever owe you.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Wait what’s my name again!
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, You killed my father prepare to die!”
Monday, July 23, 2007
So Friday I was exhausted so I went to bed early and ignored everyone. Woke up Saturday morning at 9:00 and Alexis had decided since it was the most fabulous day out ever that we needed to go to Big Lake. So I am dressed in my Maui best ready for the beach look and we head out. Once we get there we almost immediately hopped on the Jet Ski’s. We then proceeded to tear it up and I was chasing boats and jumping wakes and I hit this one and when I landed the handlebars were turned and the Jet Ski shot off in one direction and I went the other. That’s right Keri tanked it in the middle of the lake (MAN DOWN!). Lexie didn’t actually witness the incident but she looked around in time to see me in the water and my Jet Ski 50 feet away. Well I whined enough that she towed me back to it. However everything was wet and I lost my rose sunglasses (The first casualty of the war of the Jet Ski’s) which are now residing at the bottom of the lake.
Then later in the day Lexie’s mom gets into an all out water war with the neighbor and by the end of that the dock was completely drenched and my phone was wet. I tried to save it and I can still text message but the speaker and mic are having difficulties and it’s hard to hear people or have them hear me. Maybe it will start working in another couple of days.
I ended up going to Kootz for a couple hours Saturday night ran into Marcella there and just hung out and then left early. Slept most of the day Sunday.
P.S. I lost another 3 pounds this last week “SWEET!” (DOUBLE ARM PUMP <- Brianism)
Friday, July 20, 2007
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
For those of you wondering why I was out on a week night it was Dallas’s Birthday – SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY DALLAS!
Most memorably funny quote from last night was Dallas saying “Lexie’s all up in your Kool-Aid!” he gets 20 points for making me laugh yet again this morning.
So here’s to great times and friends – even the ones up in your Kool-Aid.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Friday – after work I met Alexis at her parent’s house where we proceeded to have a great time and I ended up showing them my bloomers – but hey they are family.
Then I met up with Tammy and Ashley and we headed to Kootz where they proceeded to get their drink on and I was the reliable designated driver and drank diet coke all night (Major props to Joe my bartender for getting Ashley drunk). The girls ended up leaving around 1:30 Tool gave them a ride home and I remained around to drive the other drunk people home. So at the end of the night after dropping everyone off, I then went home grabbed the dog and invaded Alexis’s house at 3 AM she was a trooper.
Saturday – get home around noon from Lexie’s and we had planned on having a BBQ at the house so that started at 6:00 ish. Multiple people showed up and I proceeded to get my drink on since I had been so good the night before – now I remember everything because I have yet to experience this blackout thing so many other people have so I unfortunately always remember what happens. Sam and me got into a wrestling match and I lost (he swung me around like a rag doll – very manly if his back hurts from lifting my fat ass I will not be held accountable). Then at another point Lexie had me on my stomach on the ground tickling my feet at which point I spent about 5 mins flat on my back in the grass. Some of my sunglasses are missing “AND I WANT THEM BACK!” one pair even got broke (MAN DOWN!) and one stolen “Dimples I’m looking at you.” And his wife Blondie tried to steal another pair but then she lost them and claims I never gave them back even though I put them on her face (I still haven’t found them – they are probably in someone purse). For some reason no one would make eye contact with me – maybe it had something to do with the fact that if they did I would yell “EYE CONTACT – YOU WANT SOME LOVIN.” At which point I would then molest whoever it was that had looked at me and it didn’t matter who it was. By the end of the night we ended up at Club O and then everyone else was moving on to other clubs and I wanted to go home but Blondie wouldn’t leave me on the side of the bar waiting for a cab by myself which was totally ridiculous since security was there but I appreciate it anyway!
I went home and passed out with my bedroom window open at 1:30 and was out until 3:30 when my phone rang because some people were not done partying yet. By that point I was naked and freezing and not even about to get up to shut my window much less go down and start drinking again.
Sunday – SLEPT ALL DAY LONG – and went over to bug Alexis again – I think she is getting tired of me. NAW – THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!
As for my title that has to do with a private conversation! Much love to you all and hope everyone had a great weekend too!
Friday, July 13, 2007
So ME, ME, ME, I, I, I, Twirl, Twirl, Twirl!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Which is all to the good since I was flouncing around yesterday in my black and white poka dot dress. There is something freeing about wearing a dress – knowing that you can moon someone and have your dress back down before they even knew what hit them.
Although as some of my friends can validate dresses are a lot like shorts and I have a tendency to pull the sides up on my shorts (like up to my ears) this usually only happens when alcohol is involved but sometimes just being in a good mood triggers these episodes of pantspulupits – it is a rare medical condition that is not funny in the slightest, (unless you’re a friend or family member).
Here’s to white cotton underwear.
P.S. Met up with the girls last night to hang out – so this is my shout out to Alexis, Melody and C…C….C….Blondie!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
I was e-mailing a friend of mine and she tried to pull one over on me so I shot back with a retort that was both witty and true at which point her reply was “You have too much dirt on me.”
When it comes to your close friends is it possible to have too much dirt? I don’t think so – I think it shows that you know everything about them and yet you still love them no matter what – I think it’s a true test of friendship. With this comes awesome responsibility though, say you were to have a falling out with said friend and not be friends anymore EVER this would not give you license to go around airing their dirty laundry everywhere. Guess I’m not vindictive!
Then again my friends keep my secrets (to the grave beotches)!
Locked up tight as Fort Knox here in Alaska.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
“Survey Says! I’m still on-call for the rest of the week even though I was dismissed today.”
Monday, July 9, 2007
P.S. I woke up this morning with this nasty bruise on the arch of my left foot and I have no idea where it came from. It wasn’t there yesterday that I would understand.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Ok so Wednesday I was floating on cloud nine. Or more accurately the back of a one ton truck that was festooned with balloons, paper and boy scouts. Most of the decorations were attached with duct tape because really nothing is more American then that and it was Red, White and Blue Duct Tape we were so proud to be riding on the duct tape float driven by none other then “roommate Sam”. Yes once again I put my life in Sam’s hands I kept having vision of a rough stop and my face connecting with the cab of the truck, although the people who lined the streets were the most fun they would see me wobble and my eyes get as big as saucers and grin or yell at me to hold on they knew I was fearing for my life and most of them appreciated that I had showed up anyway for their entertainment.
In the morning before the parade the judges came around to judge the floats so we were all on our best behavior when one judge asks me if the Boy Scout to my right has his hand in is pocket. I look and that little pipsqueak has one hand on the American Flag and one in his pocket. With out even thinking I take my white gloved hand and backhand him across the arm and hiss at him to take his hand out of his pocket. At that moment the judge starts laughing and saying that’s more like it. Either way we won third place – so we rock.
This really does not need to be said but I am the world biggest walking disaster when I was a kid growing up I had what my mother refers to as banana legs if there is an opportunity for me to humiliate myself by falling I can’t help but jump up and down shouting me-me-me I will do it. So I was a little worried about that. I however had protection, this came in the form of the United States Navy uniform I was wearing it held me up and in place like there was invisible strings tied to my shoulders to keep my back straight. I would not be responsible for disrespecting the uniform. Now I’m not actually in the Navy which I had to explain to a few people. I was wearing my mother’s uniform (which shows that I had 20 years in – damn I look good for my age). At first I thought there might be a problem with this but I figure if Tom Cruise, Denzel Washington and Demi Moore can wear one then I certainly can. Especially since I have more Pride, Respect and Love for that uniform and more importantly the woman who wore it then any of the listed above. Not to mention I looked just as good.
So as we made the route through the city I smiled and waved and my favorite moment came at a loll in the crowd on my side and a mother was sitting with her daughter on the curb and as we drove by I waved at her and I heard the little girl say “Look Mommy she looks so pretty.” That statement made my year I almost jumped off the truck and ran over to her to give her a big hug. I wasn’t sure I wanted kids but now I want twelve just like that little girl.
There were tons of cameras (including news cameras) and nothing is weirder then complete strangers taking your picture. Yup there was nothing but the feeling of pride for our country and I had the best time. Then at the end suddenly I could feel the pain in my feet from the shoes never before worn and my under clothes meant to slim me down and hide my imperfect body were suddenly digging into my rib cage. Yep my 45 minutes were now up – still I love this country!
P.S. I looked HOT HOT HOT!
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Anyway today I go to the dentist for a teeth cleaning and then tonight after work I get to help build a float for the parade tomorrow which I also get to ride – yeah! It’s an American Legion float and I get to wear my mom’s old Navy uniform. I’m so excited and I will post pictures and blog about my experience on Thursday after my day off. Hope everyone has a great 4th of July!
Monday, July 2, 2007
Saturday – woke up at 7:30 because we (Sam, Leslie, Aurora and me) were going to the highland games in Eagle River. Sam and I went on time and the others were like an hour and a half late – so we spent about 4 hours there hanging out and watching men is skirts (I mean kilts). Then at 12:30 we decided we were done and Sam and I went shooting. That’s right Sam gave me a loaded gun and said go to town. SWEET! I started with the pistol and then the rifle and then we decided to have a contest. The first time I totally won (I had figured out the scope on the rifle though since it was off). The second time Sam won – I should have stopped while I was ahead. Then after that I tried the .45 and wow what a recoil I couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. There go any dreams of being a professional hitman. We finally got home around 5:00 and then at 6:00 I was tired and went to take a nap (that lasted 5 hours) and then I just watched TV and slept on and off for the rest of the weekend. It was awesome – except my thumbs hurt from having to load my own bullets.
NOTE TO SELF – hire man servant next time to load bullets it would be cheaper then a manicure.