Thursday, July 17, 2008
Caller: “Hey you want to smoke a blunt?”
Me: “What? Who is this?”
Caller: “It’s James” – (This is not the James most of you are thinking of he knows better this is James #2)
Me: “James who?”
Caller: “James M. I met you at the bar”
Me: “Are you sure? Who are you trying to reach?”
Me: “That’s me and you say I know you and gave you my number?”
Caller: “Yes – I remember because it’s Keri with a K”
At this point I’m like shit that is what I say – damn it I do know this guy and I am starting to remember who he is the problem is I removed his number from my phone because I hadn’t heard from him in almost a year. Who randomly calls up someone they haven’t talked to in almost a year at 4AM in the morning on a week day and asks them if they want to smoke a blunt? I haven’t done that since I can’t remember when and certainly not with this guy. Back to the conversation:
Me: “OK I think I know who you are now. However about your request – I’ll pass but thanks for offering”
Caller: “OK I will let you go then”
Me: “Yeah Kay Good Night”
I mean really I guess it serves me right for answering the phone but curiosity got the better of me. Oh well.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
So now with the Rays in the running – I have no choice but to root for them considering that Tampa Bay and Seattle are the only other two places I have been for longer then I have been in Alaska.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Now Road Rash is what I text when I am completely wasted – which is what happened on Saturday.
“S” came over around nine and we took some shots and had a drink and Kelly drove us to the bar at ten. I proceeded to get my drink on had fun (wore jeans instead of a mini skirt). I am 98% sure it was Dimond who gave me a ride home sometime around 2:30 announced to Kelly when I got home that I was drunk apparently sent out a drunk text which I have no record of on my phone and don’t remember sending. Sunday found me trying to sleep it off. Got out of the house Sunday night to go clean and then came home and went to bed.
So that’s about it for my weekend – how was everyone else’s?
Friday, May 2, 2008
I’m sitting here at my desk wondering if it’s possible to get frost bite at 65% because I am freezing. My toes and fingers are about to go on strike so I actually just went out to the car to get my coat (even though I was already wearing layers a shirt and jacket type thing) and I am sitting cross legged in my chair with a throw blanket over my lap.
I am bored with work and e-mailing my friends. There is talk about a possible David Hasslehoff theme party coming up – I have decided that I will go with the Baywatch David look of a pair of short red shorts and some how purchase a red personal floatation device to strategically place over my ya-ya’s I hope it’s warm that day. Then Tammy says we might actually have to go to a bar dressed that way – to which I replied that I would need massive amounts of alcohol and a escort for security purposes and that I might need to bring an entourage (apparently according to Kurt I have one – who knew) all this because I am a Diva.
Then of course there would be Knight Rider David – what’s that a pair of jeans and a t-shirt with a beat-up black leather coat. How would I sex that up? Maybe by tearing the t-shirt into a mid-drift, naw too boring.
Maybe I should just dress up as a rock star and sing “hooked on a feeling” like David did in 1997. That was the year I graduated from high school. That might work – hmmm – maybe guess we will have to just wait and see.
Monday, April 28, 2008
This one is about a conversation I had the other day with my neighbor from across the street. It was after work last week and I was at home watching TV and it was about that time when the sun comes shining in through the window in my front door and right into my eyes – I hate this especially when I am trying to watch TV I keep my house so dark my friends call it the cave – that’s right I have my own Bat Cave (I know you all are jealous). Anyway so I stepped outside to do the ghetto fabulous thing of hanging a towel over the door to block the window and my neighbor was outside and flat out asked me what I was doing. I explained my reasons. To which he replied “Oh – I thought it was something else” at which point he proceeds to tell me that back in his college days hanging something on your front door was a sign to your roommate that you were occupied and they were not to come in.” To which I replied “I don’t give my roommates warnings like that let them walk in on something I dare them! Besides if I were to do something like that I would simply post a huge ass sign on the door saying “I’M GETTING LAID – STAY OUT!” I mean really why try to be coy about it. On a side note if he thought that is really what it meant then how rude of him to stop and chat me up when I might possibly be about to get some – HOW RUDE.
Still it did get me wondering what the other neighbors thought it meant.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
UPDATE! It snowed a total of 18 inches yesterday that’s was just in one day. This morning the world is white and the dog disappeared off the back porch into a snow bank. It was deep enough to lose Yoda (a pug) but you could see where he had been by the movement of the trench. Kelly thinking this was funny decided the cat really needed to experience it as well and the next thing there is a black blur of cat flying out the back door into the snow and then the cat propelled himself back into the house in a matter of seconds.
Monday, April 28, 2008
2ND UPDATE! Well over the last couple of days most of the snow has melted off, there is only about two inches hanging around on the ground but the roads are clear. Weatherman expects all snow to have melted off by weekend – I might even get back into my sandals by the end of the week.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Current Residence of my house is as follows. ME – Kelly and Melody and Mikey will be back sometime this weekend. I have good intentions of cleaning my house thoroughly this week since I clean everyone else’s it’s time I looked toward the home front. I mean clean too like spring cleaning so much so I don’t think there will be any partying this weekend and if I do end up going out it will be an alcohol free weekend. My body needs a break apparently. I am experiencing a pain in my back right side – I have come to the conclusion that it is not my back but maybe something to do with my Kidney (like a stone – that would suck) or better yet I could be getting shingles again that was fun last time. So pretty much to much stress in my life right now. All is relatively good though. I promise to get back on the blogging horse this next month.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Now here are a couple of the pictures obviously there are tons of other ones but most need to have the background cropped out and maybe some red eye touch up. But you guys will get the point. Now considering I am wearing more in these photos then I do with my bathing suit there should be no problem.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
It freaking snowed last night – can we say RUDE! I was getting so excited it looked like I might be able to bust out with my sandals soon – no such luck I guess. That’s alright since after this weekend I think I am going to completely drop off the face of the earth for awhile at least in my public appearances I will still try and post regularly on here.
The super top secret project might be coming to an end this week if so I will let you know how it went.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
P.S.Went out on Saturday and nearly put myself into a coma. I actually drank so much I have memory loss and can’t remember half the night – I vaguely remember trying to walk home from the Bush Company because it really is not that far and the weather was actually great and felt sort of warm (well warm for this time of year). Then I remember Jessy telling me that I couldn’t walk home because I would ruin my new shoes – suddenly I have a flash back to the scene from Legally Blonde where that same line is used. It apparently did work even though I am not blonde anymore I still have my vain moments. Also I remember telling Joe (my bartender) to make me a shot and when he asked me what I wanted I replied defiantly that I wanted him to MAKE IT HURT (I was having a bad weekend). Opps – My bad a SNAKE BITE not good, my mistake – I should have known better then to utter these words to Joe. Unfortunately the drinking didn’t stop after that thanks to Kelly I was able to pretty much keep a drink in my hand all night. Our stay at the Bush Company was short but I was so out of it I don’t remember seeing one naked chick at all – It’s a strip club people – how is this possible. So come Sunday morning (afternoon, whatever!) hearing Jessy and Kelly talking about what happened I kept saying where the hell was I for that at which point they would inform me that I was right there and then sadly shake their heads. So yeah – can’t let that happen again EVER!
Monday, February 25, 2008
This last weekend I once again attempted to color my hair and could not get the right color I wanted so after 4 boxes of hair color and a tingly sensation of the scalp that still has not gone away I am now a lightish brown color with hints still of the orange red that I was trying to get rid of. One day I will have the money to go in and get my hair done again. I look forward to that day.
I have big plans for next weekend but it is a secret project in the works and I can’t tell you about – but if all turns out OK I will be able to post the outcome at a later date I will keep you informed. I have a busy week planned.
Tonight I have to go over to Lexie’s house so she can put the pink highlights in my hair my sort of gift to my boss who loves to tease me about my hair I decided since he is leaving I will make sure my hair is something he can remember me by.
Tuesday – My boss and his wife going away party is tomorrow so I get to hang out with the people from work.
Wednesday – I am doing a happy hour special get together with Staci and Tammy after work.
Thursday – it is Jessy’s birthday and we will be heading to Kootz I do have to work on Friday so I am thinking that it won’t be a late night but if it is well it is her birthday and we all know I can function on only a couple hours of sleep so that’s good.
So far that is all I have planned. If anything absolutely exciting happens then I will be sure to inform you all. Much love.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Last night I dressed up Yoda (see picture below)!
Super bowl – Giant vs. Patriots (I will be rooting for the Patriots but they have won the super bowl before so I won’t mind if the Giants win I think I will end up rooting for whoever everyone else is rooting against). Its way more fun that way!
Friday, January 18, 2008
So my day and night were actually pretty good yesterday. Until I decided I needed to clean out my closet and pack away the clothes I can’t wear right now. As I tried things on some of the clothes I can wear again are almost ten years old. That is not the depressing part though the problem is most of the clothes that were tight on me are now almost a bit baggy and we all know I like to wear jeans and pants that I need a pair of pliers to pull the zipper up with to pour myself into to them. Not so much now because I have NO ASS! What little that is there is a bit saggy and in most of my nice pants when you look at me from behind I look like a board - straight down. This is no longer funny and an intervention is in order. I don’t care what the norm is I would rather gain thirty pounds and have my curves back then be skinny. I am seriously remembering some horrible times from high school when I had no boobs but I still at least had a butt – now I have neither. So I will start my lunges this evening I think if I do a thousand of them a day that should help perk up the butt I have and I plan on eating only pasta as soon as I have money again to go shopping.
I just weighed myself and I am now at 169 and that is fully clothed. My goal is to get back up to 190.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
So I have done a lot of thinking the last couple of days. This is what I have come up with:
So I have always been the good child relatively easy to raise I can fit into almost any situation and feel comfortable. This I totally thank my mother for and the fact that I was a military brat. I’m use to moving and having to adapt. I can usually fit into any group of people weather it be a black tie event or standing in the middle of the ghetto. I look at people as if they are just that people not a group. Over all I have usually always had my shit together.
Then Grandpa passed away (I am not using this as an excuse) but it sort of threw me for a loop. I was already starting to have financial difficulties at this time and so when the doctor introduced me to my Happy Pills – all hell broke loose. That’s right I felt fabulous and had tons of energy. Downside: I didn’t give a shit about anything.
That’s right folks for the last half of the year I have been rebelling. I never got my rebel stage (I think I was gypped in this because it’s better to go through this stage when you’re younger and it’s easier to rebound when you’re in your early twenties as opposed to say your late twenties). So alas no more Happy Pills means I am not dealing with change in my life as easily as I would have say 6 months ago. Now when I get a shut off notice for one of my many overdue bills I no longer shout into the night “Bite ME electric company I will pay you when I feel like it as long as my mortgage is paid I will live in my house freezing and in the dark and you still won’t take me, WaaHaHa!”
Now it’s more like I open the bill and then curl up into a little ball and start crying. I will make it, it will be tough for the next few months but I am confident that I can make it back to the place where I have my shit together and people can rely on me once again.
So I would like to apologize right now to my family first for being a complete idiot and to the friends I have lost touch with in my quest to be the party girl and just have a little fun. The shark that is life has just swam up from the depths of my soul where the old Keri resides still, broken but not beat down to the point of no return – yeah that shark has just bitten me in the ass.
However the upside of the Happy Pills is that I am not afraid to show emotion and I know if I break down and cry it will all be OK because my friends and family will still love me.
Friday, January 11, 2008
OK so my hair had turned out to light so I wanted to make it go darker so Melissa bought me more hair color. It is a color I have used before I just couldn’t remember when. So we went home and she put it on my head and I waited then went to take a shower. As I was rinsing my hair my shower nozzle attacked me nearly knocking me out. Then I get out and dry my hair so I can see it – let’s put it this way even wet I could see the red. OK so not really the dark brown color I was going for I dry it and go down stairs to tell Melissa that I am officially Rainbow Bright. She says it looks more like Mahogany which she is probably right but I did not want this much red in my hair. So once I get some money again I am going to go back and try and find a dark brown.
I actually like this color but I am not sure that I am in the mood for this color at this time. I don’t know I might get use to it – maybe I will take a census.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Also since I was fond of that Piggy Bank – having decorated it myself a year ago when I was in Hawaii with Lexie and her parents. I might need to call upon Lexie’s mother for a new one. DAMN CAT!
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Thursday night: Melissa was my designated driver took some shots before leaving the house. Got to Kootz at about 8:00, got a BLT and saw some of the Big Show. Lance and Celeste showed up it was their anniversary so Lance proceeded to buy me drinks. Big Mike made me do a Blow Job shot off one of the Big Show regulars. I didn’t win the chance to spin but we hung out for a bit longer and went home at 11:30 and made it to bed by 1:00 am.
Friday: we ran some errands and got ready for the big night out. 7:30 found me inebriated at the hockey game – so much so that I actually threw a note over the glass to Cody Rudkowsky and Scott Kelman who were playing for the other team. No it did not contain my phone number. But it was funny. Then after the game we went to Platinum Jaxx and met up with Tammy, Heather, Tool and Kurt (they then disappeared off the face of the earth when Marcella, Melissa and I moved to Kootz at midnight. Dallas and his friend Brandon showed up later and we all hung out. At this point I wasn’t feeling well. NO it was not from the drinking so at 1:30 I told Melissa I wanted to go home. I went home and crawled into bed woke up late on Saturday morning and proceeded to suffer from the Black Plague as did Melissa.
Saturday: I think I might have gone downstairs and left my bed only long enough to take the dogs out.
Sunday: Replay of Saturday – I was becoming one with my bed and suffering a backache on top of everything else from being in bed so long.
Monday: Left the house for a total of an hour and a half to run to the doctor and the bank. But at least when I made it home I stayed downstairs curled up on the couch I sort of needed a change of scenery. Started to feel a little more human Monday night went to bed with every intention of going to work the next day.
Tuesday: Woke up to go to work was dizzy and aching all over and Hello Welcome back fever. Called in to work it just wasn’t happening but set up the blow up mattress right in the middle of the living room continued to sleep and watch TV went up stairs to bed that night and woke up this morning feeling better but still not great. Right now I just want to go home and go to bed.
So over all not my best birthday weekend ever. But hey at least I am another year older and wiser right!
Also I was able to color my hair and it is a light brown now so I am going to have to color it again to get to the dark brown I want. I think my blonde party days are over at least for now I am so broke I can’t afford it anyways plus it is winter time and I really crave nothing else but to relax and over all do nothing.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Friday nights plan includes a hockey game, Platinum Jaxx and then Kootz. I have bullied most people into either going out with me on Thursday night or Friday. So it should be fun.