Sorry folks. Christmas was good and I have been mostly vegging. However Melissa got up here last Friday night and Jessy and her son came over and we proceeded to get drunk at my house. I even put on a little show of counter dancing in my kitchen and I even got to sleep with a little man. Jessy’s son is so adorable he went over to his father’s on Saturday and so did not want to leave he liked hanging out with us girls and having us all dote on him. Then Saturday was a low key night and we all got to bed relatively early at least for us. Then yesterday we proceeded to eat non stop for like 5 hours and painted toes and nails in preparation for tonight. I went to bed early because I actually am at work today. I have tomorrow off though and tonight Melissa is going to be the designated driver. So that is awesome I don’t have to pay for a cab since I can’t afford one anyway. Jessy is still at the house and has been there since Friday night which is great and I am pretty sure she is going out with us tonight “S” is also going out with us tonight and I believe Melody is too. Should be a good night I will try and get a lot of pictures since I haven’t taken any recently. Also my birthday is coming up on Thursday and we are mostly going to celebrate on Friday night but since I have Friday off I might get a jump start on Thursday. Who knows then after that it will be back to just hanging out around the house doing a whole lot of nothing. Hope everyone has a good and safe holiday. Love you all.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
PS – Today I received an e-mail from Victoria Secrets that they are having their semi-annual sale so even better. Hope to have my new butt jeans here by New Years.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Have you ever been so horny that even your underwear makes things worse and you can’t even think about going with out especially with jeans cause that would be even more unbearable? It’s to the point that thinking of something or someone turns you on and yet you are almost to the point of finding some random person to assist with your problem even if you know it wouldn’t be truly satisfying. This was me last night I went home and completely undressed and laid on the bed with no covers nothing touching me because I was super sensitive. Yeah so doing better today but for crying out loud that sucks.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
So the following is a list of stupid things I have done recently:
So I tweaked my back out trying to load myself up with everything that needed to go upstairs because I was too lazy to come back down the stairs and make a second trip.
I spent 20 minutes looking through my bed for the remote that I knew for sure was lost somewhere in the covers and then finally gave up after pissing off the dogs to find the remote on the floor by my bed. Who would have thought to look there?
I totally forgot about my advent calendar until last night and then I started opening up everything and until I was done with only 6 days left unopened I realized I started at the wrong number and completely did it backwards – do these things come with directions (even if it did do you think I stopped to read them).
I have been experiencing major issues with my cell phones. I loose them or forget them or they spend some quality time in the snow. This has happened a lot over the last couple weeks I was complaining to Lexie about it and she politely told me this might mean I am partying too much. DAMN! Lexie just said I party too much. Well I guess that’s true so alas I am cutting back I will be out for New Years and I will be out the following weekend to celebrate my birthday. Then we will see what happens.
PS – I made Kool-Aid last night – haven’t had that in forever!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
OK so most of you know me well enough to know that I hate taking pills especially ones I have to take daily. Even my Thyroid ones I forget half the time and if I have a headache I am more likely to take a nap then a pain killer. So I just had an appointment with my shrink and we are both in agreement that I don’t need to be on them anymore so we have started a decrease program to get me off of them. So in one months time I will be back to the old Keri although I have learned that it’s OK for me to have a breakdown or be emotional so for those of you that are worried I am going to stop being the crazy Keri have no fear I have never been completely normal EVER – this is hereditary and there is nothing I can do about that the whole family is whacked! Hopefully though this will allow me be less fidgety and to where I can sit down and watch a whole movie again. I miss vegging in front of the TV and it is my personal feeling that this is why I have started my hibernation phase late I should be one month into a coma but alas I am still all over the place. If I don’t get my sleepy time then I get sick and I will never make it through next summer in one piece.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Also the full moon this month is on Monday Christmas Eve which means I have one week to get my stuff together and sent down to a friend – we are trying an experiment and if it works I will be selling my services for your first born child. It will so be worth it.
P.S. Tool stop critiquing my spelling or I will beat you over the head with a shovel. <- A false disclaimer is nobody’s friend!
Friday, December 14, 2007
So as I sit here at my desk with my left hand up to my face to block my sight of the left half of my desk. I feel happy and lighter because I have finally finished all the work that was on the right side of my desk. I need to get completely caught up because in a few months I am either going to start my plans for my hostel take over of my company or I am at least going to have everything done if I need to run screaming from the building so that I won’t have a guilt complex. BIG PLANS! But they are secret plans right now but my mind is taking over.
I have also entered my hibernator stage of the winter I am sleeping a lot or just vegging so there won’t be many partying blogs although Tammy’s birthday party is on Saturday so I will be going to that but I don’t know as of yet if I will be staying out late.
Monday, December 10, 2007
On a side note the cell phone I lost last Saturday was found on my front porch I’m sure the cab driver left it there that night. So I walked by it for almost an entire week before seeing it and then when I did it was frozen to the railing. Oh well it was acting up anyway so I needed a new phone.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
So this Friday is Christmas Party – have perfect bronze colored dress to wear and will look totally smashing. Saturday is another night out and I have no idea what to wear – I have absolutely no clothes to wear. OK that is not true but I need to find out what the mood is going to be like do I wear another mini skirt or is it going to be more laid back and I should just wear jeans. Decisions, decisions – oh the effort of looking glamorous.
PS - I just sneezed all over my desk and now my brain hurts.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Anyway tonight I buy a Christmas Tree and decorate it with my fabulous crystal ornaments. I will take a picture and post it later. Also I must rest up our company Christmas party is this Friday and the guys are already talking about who all is going out to party afterward. Personally I hope they all come out after as I will not have to buy a drink all night and I already have my designated driver lined up and he is already scared.
Monday, December 3, 2007
So Saturday I went out with some friends. This picture is of me in the cab ride to Platinum Jaxx my hair looked so good that night. I was all hoed out in a jean mini skirt and brown hoe boots and yes my belly was even showing – apparently the guys love it when your love handles are showing I can’t even tell you how many random guys I danced with but it was all good I had a blast. Then of course I moved to Kootz later in the night to finish off my night. Took a cab home and ended up spending the night in the princess chair until about 8:00am.
Unfortunately the one moment before we went out at which point I knew I was already buzzed was not captured on film. This event which could never be recreated while sober consisted of me jumping on the front of a certain someone (who will remain nameless) telling him to hold me wrapping my legs around his waist and doing that baby thing (you know where they tend to throw themselves backward) which ended up with me hanging from said guys waist upside down with my hands and head by the floor and all this in a mini skirt. Of course being a gentleman said guy did not look down during this (I was wearing a thong which leaves nothing to the imagination) and I am so surprised BFF didn’t launch me out the window.
Not that it was just one big party this weekend I also cleaned the house and moved furniture and I plan on getting a Christmas Tree tomorrow and decorating it.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
First after a really horrendous flight down (I hate to fly – I was even tempted to not get on the plane once) I was sure I was going to die like three times there was so much turbulence. I arrived in Seattle at 9:15 on Wednesday night. I’m pretty sure that Grandpa’s spirit was there to greet me when I got off the plane because all of the sudden I had some personality traits back that I had left behind when I had gone home last March to say goodbye to Grandpa. The main one being my attitude and my MOXY! That’s right – I am back to the old Keri. Don met me at baggage claim having left early from the hockey game and we worked out my entrance. He also picked me up in the Jag so even though it was in the 30’s I asked him if we could drive home with the top down. We did and it was fabulous. He dropped me off at the corner so I could wait for him to get inside and then he called me to say everyone was in the hot tub out back. Everyone being mom, Walter and Brenda. So I snuck around back and came barreling through the gate with my new attitude saying “Geez – what’s a girl got to do to get some service around here!” At which point it was dark in the backyard so until I got almost all the way to the hot tub no one recognized me. Mom stood and was speechless (I’m pretty sure if she wasn’t already wet she would have wet her pants). It was so fabulous I gave Don a high five right there. We are such a team. Anyway so that was a great night. Then Thursday morning Tanya called to ask what time she needed to come up from Tacoma and mom handed her the phone and let her talk to me so of course after finding out I was there she had to come right up.
Thursday afternoon we drove up to aunt Laura’s and uncle Brian’s for dinner there was a total of 15 people there it was fun tons of laughing. Me and Tanya drove home together and then she went back home to her puppy. Friday mom and I went shopping at Ross because seriously the universe would be very upset with me if I went to Seattle and didn’t go to Ross – bad Karma! I couldn’t risk it. Then we all hung out on Friday and Brenda and Walter left Friday night. I left to fly home on Saturday afternoon and then proceeded to veg the rest of the weekend. I got my green bean casserole so the world is right with me. Hope everyone else had a great Thanksgiving too.
Monday, November 19, 2007
So with this in mind I actually have every intention of sliding in with a Kate Spade purse holding a bunch of the little plastic mermaids that accompany a cocktail made by Joe, Coach Shoes so worn out from dancing you can’t even read the label and my Christian Dior sunglasses (which believe it or not I still have not lost and they currently hold the record for longest lasting sunglasses in the history of Keri) hiding the wrinkles on my face that as of right now have not appeared because I am fabulous.
While we all know I have no problem with my self esteem and I know I am fabulous and I know that you all know I am fabulous. However there are some out there who have not grasp this knowledge (to the random guy standing next to me at the bar wondering where his drink is because he was there first – for like an hour, to the girl at Best Buy who looks confused by the fact that this girl in a pink ski cap and jeans with a big fluffy vest on is getting all the attention from everyone – “I just realized this the other night – apparently I have a great aura”, to the nameless ones out there you know who you are) I AM FABULOUS! And I will beat you over the head with my handbag until you realize it.
So while I realize that I have a certain talent to talk my way in or out of anything (I am pretty sure I could talk my way on to Air Force One if I wanted too). I have decided not to use my power for evil but to help others who I think deserve it so if there is anything any of my peeps need you holla at me and I will let my mojo flow.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Seriously had one heck of a night last night – had a bad day wanted to kill people. Went out and got completely wasted and was home by 10:30. Short night but filled with my emotional maelstrom that would rival hurricane Katrina. She’s up she’s down she’s mad at everyone she’s crying so hard she’s shaking.
Yeah: Me – Me – Me – I – I –I!
Now anyone that knows me knows I don’t get mad very often I tend to hold it in which isn’t exactly healthy but it works for me. Then about once a year I have a melt down and there usually is a big argument and then I feel better (usually my mom is the one who gets to see this softer side of Keri). Well there was almost one of these full blown episodes last night except all day yesterday everybody could sense I was mad so no one would argue with me and I need to argue to get it out – so now it’s just going to fester and last until I can have a good row with someone. So I guess that was everyone’s warning – stand back.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
By the way I also went tanning on my lunch and now I have that nice burnt smell. I figured out that I only get that smell when I use the tanning lotions but it’s not enough for me not to use it.
A little tanner and skinnier up here in the frozen north.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Here is my question do you believe in premonitions? I do my family has had some pretty strange things happen that lead me to believe in them. So with this in mind I tell everyone that everything is going to be just ducky for me.
Lately I have been catching up on some well needed sleep and just relaxing. I did have a slight melt down on Friday and actually ran away from my own house – is that weird? Have you ever just had the urge to just be by yourself? Well I did Friday. I needed to get away and think I tried to run to my happy place – which is Big Lake because I am always happy when I am out there – however the Big Lake Motel is under remodel and I couldn’t get a room so I had to back track to Wasilla and checked into the Best Western Lake Lucille Inn. I have been to this hotel before so I knew that the suites had a Jacuzzi tub. Well I did it I splurged on a two room suite. It seriously took nearly 45 minutes to fill the tub up because it’s a double but once it was I grabbed my Bacardi Razz and sprite and hopped in and relaxed watching TV (YO Harry Potter) it was the best then I was in bed early and up the next morning at 9:30 am. I woke up and did that whole Disney thing of whipping the curtains open and the view was astounding. One of the sun shiniest days we have had in a while and the lake was mostly frozen over and white and the mountains in the background – I really do love this state. Suddenly my state of mind changed and I was having a really darn good day (impressive considering I am not normally even technically alive at that time in the morning on a weekend). So I drove home and I have been good ever since.
So yes I am still alive and no I have not started my hibernation yet. Hope everyone else is all good – much love.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
In 89 days it will have been exactly 5 years that I have lived up here in Anchorage (that is so surreal). When I first moved up here I didn’t know anyone and I had no family close by. (I have a grandfather out in Palmer – who I just met when I first moved up here and I had an aunt that lived out in Kenai) For the most part though I was on my own. I had never lived on my own either. So after spending the first couple weeks scared out of my mind in my house trying to get use to the noises I asked the people that I work with to look after me. For some reason I had this irrational fear of me dying alone (which wouldn’t be so bad) but if that happened I was afraid that Pucky would starve to death before anyone realized I was gone.
Now I have never done a “no call, no show” ever in my life. So I told the people I work with that and said that if I was ever more then 30 minutes late and had not called in to call me and if I did not respond in a timely manner to come over to my house and look for me because I am probably dead. Now I have been late and sometimes I have forgotten to change my alarm clock or to set it. However my body usually wakes me up about ten minutes before I have to be to work (usually in panic mode) this function works on the weekends too when I am still asleep and not sure what day of the week it is. This usually gives me enough time to call in and say I am going to be late.
However two weeks ago my alarm didn’t go off and my body didn’t wake me up. So work called me at home 30 minutes after my shift should have started and woke me up. I panic barely got dressed I was so upset I would have totally ran out of the house naked. Now further investigations revealed that my alarm clock was possessed. Now I knew this since it would randomly go off for no reason in the middle of the night or if my cell phone got a message or a call, but it never had not gone off when it was suppose too. So alarm clock was fired. However I was too broke then to go out and buy a new one so I continued to use it while also using my cell phone as a back up because that was not happening again, EVER!
Well to the point of my story – last night I went out and purchased a new alarm clock. When you first get an alarm clock even if you test it the first couple of nights your always worried about it not going off or not going to be loud enough. So last night I set it up but didn’t test it because I figured my backups would be good if it didn’t work. So I set my cell phone and a travel alarm clock both of which are fairly soft alarms they both sort of just annoy you until you wake up. This morning I woke up to what sounded like a direct signal from the system Vega right into my brain. “Simon says get up – NOW!” Of course I jump out of my skin and start flailing about for the snooze button, once I finally get it turned off the other ones start going off. Now I like to snooze plus I was so confused that I couldn’t figure out how to turn anything off. So I snoozed them all and dozed back off. Then again they went off this happened for almost and hour (needless to say my bed companions (dogs, cat, boy) were not real pleased). Oh well I know that I won’t be late again.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Friday – Well it just sucked – but my girl Lexie was there to save me and brought me over a care package – which included rum and soon everything was just SWELL.
Saturday – I started my evening out by getting dressed up formally to attend a Breast Cancer Charity Ball (I was joined by Lexie and Melody) it was cool the food was awesome ( I am all over that cream sauce). Then we left there and Me and Mel made a quick debut at Kootz in our lovely finery and I do me quick it was the shortest time I have ever spent at Kootz. I however did go home and change and then go back there in the comfort of Yellow Cab. I hung out with my boys in the Swing Bar until they opened – they are trying to get me a job there doing some MIC work (you know hollering at the crowd and pumping everyone up) but that is not all I would have to do and they waited until I was drunk – to lay this one on me. I would also be the cage dancer for the R & B side. Yep that’s right – Shiny! I tried to back peddle my way out saying my body was not good enough for that but they weren’t going for it then I said I didn’t have anything to wear and they mentioned a clothing allowance. (I’ll admit – that got me – until I sobered up the next day – then I was like “What the Hell was I thinking”) Anyway! Thank the powers that be that I didn’t turn the application in that night like I was going too. Serves me right for going there with out my backup.
Well Poppy, Mark and I went back to my house to party and we left Kootz before 11:00. Then we waited on the others to join us which they did about 1:15 am. Then we continued to party all night long. Finally we put in the Transformer movie in at 7:30 am and Poppy and I were passed out on the couch in 15 mins. I woke up at 9 am and looked around wondering where everyone else had gone until I found a note in my kitchen saying they left. Damn – sneaky people. So I retired up to my room and slept until 1 pm. Then we just chilled most of the day on Sunday.
Over the course of Friday Night through Sunday Night I managed to (partially) watch Transformers 4 times. I think I have memorized the movie – but it is an awesome movie.
MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE - I will reign victorious for many years to come.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Pink my new signature color.
Last night we went bowling and I was using the ugly green ball the guys were using and I was sucking so bad you could have named me Hoover. Finally I decided that I was doing so crappy because the ball was just not girlie enough for me. So I went on a quest (which turned out to be almost as perilous as Atreyu trying to save fantasia). I however had my lucky charm (Atreyu had the Orrin) in the form of my Grandpa’s Navy coat and therefore was able to locate a light 10 pound BRIGHT ASS PINK ball and then I even bowled a couple of strikes.
Moral of this story: If I have any pink – stand back because I am unstoppable!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
Friday, October 12, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Had steak last night – it was awesome! I am turning into a fabulous cook – it’s kind of scary actually.
So that is all folks – this is Suzy homemaker signing off.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Seriously it has been a busy week. Still no pictures from Hoed Up Night. Sam has moved out and Melody has moved in. Friday found me hanging out at Lexie’s house for a bit getting in my girl time – it was cool lets just say that lots of talking and giggling. A little bit of dress up – that’s right Keri in pink hoe boots and pink lingerie – maybe photos will be posted of that too – MAYBE. Then I went home and before I could go to bed I got a phone call from some friends that wanted to come hang out for a bit to escape some drama. So they ended up hanging out for 3 hours it was really chilled especially since I had all my furniture shoved into the kitchen and dining room because I had my carpets cleaned Friday afternoon. So we sort of threw a blanket down and vegged.
Saturday Melody woke me up at 1:00 pm which was awesome because I needed to get up anyway. So we got together and moved her stuff from the storage place and into my house. Then I proceed to clean like a fiend and right now the only room not clean is the down stairs bathroom I will get to that later. So major moving and then up all night cleaning and then I went to bed at like 4:00am then got up on Sunday to go to work.
Sunday got off of work at 8:15pm and then went to help Mac move – had slight problem with lift gate on the work truck had to call Lance to come rescue me. He fixed it but we had been standing outside for a couple hours and I was chilled to the bone. Went home and took the hottest shower I could stand just to warm up. Yep – winter is here and I am not happy about it.
Lets talk about all the moving I have helped with since I started this blog (go ahead and check back to Memorial Day weekend). Tons! I have bruises all over my body that I don’t remember getting and when you are as white as me they look even worse not to mention I get that red splotchy look when I get cold. So not attractive. Anyway tonight is dinner at my house with a possible mention of helping Mac again tonight if he needs it.
Dinner Menu: I crave red meat! NOW!
Monday, October 1, 2007
12:30 – Get home go to bed.
1:30 – Get a phone call that the guy I left in charge of Melissa was kicked out of the bar because he lost his license in the bar so he was worried about her so he called me. I had a lot of people I knew there so I wasn’t worried about her.
2:45 – Get phone call from cab driver, he can’t find the place and I have to verbally tell him how to get there – I think I should have charged him.
3:30 Melissa gets home and I proceed to completely pass out now that everyone is where they are suppose to be.
I finally got to sleep in until like 1:30 in the afternoon – IT WAS SO AWESOME! I haven’t been able to do that in weeks. At 2:00 we had to run some errands and swing by a Halo party (I stole some fish) and then we finally get back to the house at like 4:30 and then we start getting ready for dressed up night out at 5:30 left house headed back to Halo party (pretended I was hired stripper for the boys since I was dressed like one). Then left them engrossed in the game we barely even phased them. Then headed over to Dallas’s house to say good-bye to Debbie since she is leaving the state today. Then ended back up at my house at 8:00 – proceeded to get our drink on at the house and then called a cab to go downtown to Platinum Jaxx. (Melissa left her ID at the house I made her cab back by herself to get it) So it was me, Melissa and Poppy and we met Lance and Celeste there and then Marcella and Michelle showed up and we all looked awesome in our black dresses or skirts (we really need to do that more often). Then we hung out and then Melissa, Poppy and Me went to Kootz and met up with Mel and then Alexis and Bri Bri showed up and so did Mac and Tippin. We continued to get our drink on and close down the bar. I was DJ Lefty’s personal dancer and spent most of my night up in the DJ booth getting my dance on.
We all got back to the house all 6 of us at about 3:15 and then continued to party and then Mac and Tippin left (I think they might have walked home) at about 5:00am I was in bed and asleep by 6 and then up and awake by 11:30 then we decided to get our Betty Crocker on and I made breakfast (scrambled eggs, sausage, hash browns and Melissa made pancakes). Then we proceeded to lounge around the house all day then I made dinner and I took Melissa to the airport at 11:00 pm Sunday night and then went home and went to bed.
So all in all a good weekend “Big Thangs” and now Melissa really wants to move up here.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Melissa gets in tomorrow night and then this weekend we have big things planned and there will be pictures to post this time too. It’s going to be one long weekend with all the things I have to go to Saturday especially but there will be drinking and so there will be stories to tell.
PS – I have not been on MySpace in awhile because I am currently mad at GCI so I didn’t pay them but I think they have won the battle because I can’t go any longer without my internet – it’s driving me crazy.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Saturday night after I got off Tool met at the house at 6:00 pm so we could move a car (try steering a vehicle in neutral with it off and see what a work out for your arms this it). So by the time that was done I had to start getting ready for the night (NO NAP FOR KERI). Left the house at 8:00 and we were at Club O by 10:15 for the Arctic Flow Show (which was awesome by the way). Well we stayed at the club until about 1:30 and then ended up at a house and then were going to go to another house but then ended up coming back to house number one. So I got many compliments for being such a cool chick and designated driver. However at 5:30 am Sunday morning Cool Keri had left the building and was replaced by I’m getting tired and have to be up in a few hours Keri. So I finally made it to my bed at 7:00 am and had to get up at 10:00 am to go to work another eight hour day at BB&B didn’t get off until 7:00 pm. Got home and talked to Lexie on the phone for 45 minutes and then my mother and then finally passed out at 9:30 pm. Up at 7:30 and to work at 8:00 – still here and functioning but I also have to work tonight at BB&B until 10:00 pm then I have every intension of going home and passing out until 7:00 tomorrow morning and I will be repeating that schedule for tomorrow as well. Wednesday I just have to work 8 to 5 but Melissa comes in at like midnight so I will be going to the airport to pick her up I might have time to take a nap that day but I really have been slacking on the laundry thing only doing a load here and there and so I really just need to do that. So Thursday will be another 8 to 5 and 5:30 to 10 day and then it will be Friday and I will be having a get together at my house Friday night before heading out to the bar and then Saturday will be another night out – but at least I am off this weekend from BB&B. I guess what I am saying is that you might not be hearing from me until next Monday – don’t panic I am sure with next weekend it will be one heck of a post.
P.S. I’m not sure the second job is worth the $9.50 an hour they are paying me.
Friday, September 21, 2007
However tonight I might be cooking – I know scary thought. Very few of you can attest to baring witness to my little secret that I can actually cook – I choose not too most of the time and when I feel I have too I tend to make something that comes out of a box from Costco. However when I put my mind to it and have no other distractions (I have bad cooking ADD) I tend to lay out a good meal and I totally don’t burn it. Tonight it’s Beer Batter Halibut Chunks and made be even home made fries. However if for some reason I do get distracted I will send out a smoke signal in the form of my house burning down – those of you in Seattle will be informed as well by the smoke clogged air that will no doubt fill your skies causing anyone with breathing problems to lock themselves in the house for days. I apologize now for any inconvenience!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Well folks I have the giggles today. I am finding the oddest things really funny. Lance has already had to suffer for my amusement. At least he is glad that his miserable day is funny to me and he was able to lift my spirits. No really he is not – he is only 30 minutes into his day and it’s only going to get worse. HA! I’m sorry I find this funny. I have to work tonight ad I don’t find that funny because my knee is just starting to feel better. It’s an old snow boarding injury from a few years ago (thanks Jaime) that would occasionally act up – however since I started the 2nd job it has been continuously hurting. So with this last weekend off it started to feel better. I’m too young to need a knee replacement yet.
UPDATE: So it is three hours into mine and Lance’s day and we are both wanting to kill people. I went out back into the shop in time to see Lance chucking pipe across the warehouse. I snickered and then made a run for it to the relative safety of my office – I guess I am just glad that I am not suffering alone.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Saturday night was awesome I got in some time with my boys Mikey and Tool who good naturedly let me grind up on them and Mikey became my permanent dance partner until I went home. Apparently I was oblivious to the attention from random guys and just brushed past them much to the annoyance of Lexie but hey – you can ask my mother I have been doing that for years. She use to enjoy walking behind me in the mall to watch people’s reaction to me and me not even paying attention – whatever. Sorry folks I’m not looking right now try back at another time.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Anyway – I have this really fabulous cold that causes pieces of my brain to come flying out of my nose when I sneeze – however I did get the best sleep last night – I slept like a rock. It is the first time I remember dreaming in a few days (some crazy dream nothing exciting just weird). So all in all everything is peachy keen.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Such is the way time is at work. For some reason the lunch hour is never long enough and it just flies right by without so much as a phone call the next day. An hour at work and you feel like you have been there all day and everything is running in slow motion.
To bad I can’t get paid for sleeping then the time really flies – although I am trying to stay busy because that does seem to help.
Hope everyone’s day is going faster then mine.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
So I am finally paying for the arrogance that is the American Dream that of the Credit Card. I recommend that if you don’t have one – never get one. I am so far in the hole that I can’t even see the daylight. It’s starting to affect everything. This slow burn that is my debt problem started years ago but came tumbling down at the first of the year. I am going to have to pick up more hours at work but I am not looking forward to that if I can just get caught up I know I can defeat this and with both jobs I can be on my feet again. All in all it’s been one lousy year and I can’t wait for it to be over. Hey anyone want to lend me a thousand dollars!
I am Faust and have made a deal with the devil aka Visa or MasterCard.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I am planning on having the last chance summer dance BBQ on Saturday. It will be the last one for this year. We are going to just start having indoor parties for the winter. It’s coming up on that time of year where I usually start hibernating. So if it comes to you thinking I have fallen off the face of the earth – I am just sleeping.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
So I have been busy since my last post lots of working and cleaning around the house. Tonight I have to clean the carpets and I still haven’t finished my laundry. I am hoping to have everything done by the end of the week since there will be a BBQ at my house on Saturday and that way if it rains or something I will not be embarrassed to have the party moved indoors. I will not be attending Kootz until possibly Thursday night not sure yet. Busy Busy Busy!
Hope everyone has “Big Things” planned for the holiday weekend and I want everyone to have fun and be safe!
Friday, August 24, 2007
PS – I have a ringing in my ears – what’s that mean.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
OK not the best picture – Mr. Doubly is back ruining my photos but you get the point with the hair. The above reference picture was taken on Friday night before we went out to Kootz. Me and Melody were as always waiting on Lexie and we decided to pose for a picture on her bed. We didn’t stay out late and I was home by 1:30.
I had to work the closing shift both days this weekend, but after I got off on Saturday I met up with Michelle’s birthday party at Bernie’s and then we headed over to Platinum Jacks, literally walked through the Gaslight and said hello to T00L and then ended up at the Woodshed I had a total of two drinks and for some reason was pretty buzzed must have been the lack of dinner and sleep – but I had a blast and today Michelle is officially 30. I have nothing exciting planned for tonight just doing some laundry and cleaning because if the house is a mess when Sam gets home he is going to be mad.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Last night we went to the Comedy show (like we do on Wednesday’s) and hung out there for a bit. I left around midnight but didn’t get to sleep until almost 2 again. I looked so good and finally was able to fit into my skinny jeans (it’s a pair I bought two years ago that never fit me and so the tags were still on) so I poured myself into them and it was worth it because a random guy bought me a drink. So SWEET!
Tonight after work I will be invading Lexie’s house and she will be coloring and cutting my hair and who knows it might end up purple and really short – but it should be fun getting it that way. I am sure there will also be some napage because we are both tired. My plan is to get into bed early tonight but we all know how well that plan usually works out. “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry”
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
OK so since my last serious post on Wednesday I was off work (both jobs) Thursday and Friday with some medical issues. However earlier in the week we had sent out mass e-mail, MySpace and text message invites to a spaghetti feed at my house on Friday night and since I wasn’t entirely sure who all was going to come I didn’t know who to call to cancel since I wasn’t feeling good. So crap – it was still on.
Friday – we had a good turn out and Lexie made the bomb ass Spaghetti. No drinking for Keri though – but that did not stop everyone else – some major drunkenness ensued and the next morning when I left for work it looked like a used car lot out in front of my house. Unfortunately there are no photos from this night because no one busted out with a digital and when I tried to use my dinosaur of a camera I got shouted down by several people. Anyway there fault.
Saturday I worked 9 to 5 and then came home and napped – Melody met over at my house and borrowed something to wear and then we got dressed up and went out (hence the picture from above). I ended up only staying about an hour and a half and then I bailed and went to bed – there was more sleeping on Sunday and then I shipped Sam off to the lower 48 for two weeks and then met up with Alexis, Brian, Marcella and Melody at Red Robin for lunch where we proceeded to strap on feedbags and get our grub on. Then I went home and watch the Seahawks spank the Chargers (OK spank not really the word more like barely a tap on the butt) it doesn’t matter a win is a win.
Today I work both jobs and then I plan on going home and crashing. I stayed up to late last night trying to see some of the meteor shower I saw a couple of them then finally gave up and went to bed.
P.S. Summer is almost over and I am going to miss it once it is gone.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
So the number for the day is 25, yep twenty-five! That’s how many pounds I have lost since the beginning of May. I am pretty sure that this is mainly to do with me just being happy and working two jobs I don’t just eat because I can. I eat when my stomach tells me too and I stop when I am full. I know it’s a novel concept – who would have thunk it. So for those of you who are worried my butt is of course here to stay it’s been with me since before I met my boobs so we go way back, but I am hoping to part ways permanently with my double chin we had a falling out and are not friends anymore it kept ruining all my pictures, peeing on the toilet seat and leaving dirty laundry on the floor. You will notice in the picture below that it is not there. That’s right, so long Doublely don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
So in a perfect world 35 pounds to go, although I am comfortable at this weight but I really want to get back into my leather pants so I think that is at least another 15.
OK so this post was just like the others: All about Me Me Me I I I!!
Keep on trucking: “My anaconda don’t want none, Unless you’ve got buns, hun.”
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
I got dressed up in an actual dress (I call it my Maui dress – cause that’s where I got it and it was, up until this weekend the only place I wore it). I won’t even tell you how many times I got hit on or cat called. Insane this one crazy dude though came over to us girls on the back porch and next thing I know Lexie and Melody left me sitting there with this guy (I could have killed them – where was the loyalty). So when I couldn’t dislodge the guy on my own – I made the silent plead to the bouncer (with eye contact that screamed HELP ME!). Eye contact is my thing and the bouncer came over and rescued me and escorted the lovely crazy drunk man from the premises. Then of course Alexis shows back up and looks at the bouncer and is like “Did he save you?” Yeah no thanks to you Beotch!
Also that night Melody said she would give me $20 if I crawled along the bar counter. I asked the bartenders and they were all for it but there was so many people with their drinks on the bar that I decided to wait until later in the night. Well then I forgot – so damn – I can’t believe I missed that photo opt. Oh Well, always next time. Melody, Lexie and I all got back to Lexie’s house at around 3 am and then passed out. Then Melody left sometime after the McDonald’s run and sometime during the 3rd nap (but at least she left a note and cleaned the kitchen so we didn’t feel used). Eventually I woke up and went home at like 4:30 and was suppose to go right back to go out to dinner with Lexie but then I fell back asleep and Lexie ended up driving over to my house and so dinner was like 7:30 to 9:00 then I went home and back to bed.
Woke up yesterday morning and completely threw up my dinner from the night before. Oh HELL NO! I’m the type of person who would rather hold it inside then lose control over my bodily functions (which is what throwing up is like for me). Not to mention it doesn’t get much sexier then a naked chick bent over a toilet having a hot flash and sweating then collapsing to the bathroom floor to shiver on the cold linoleum all the while wishing mom or grandma was there (to take care of me) – thank god Sam wasn’t up yet. Needless to say I didn’t make it to work yesterday – so I’m here now and doing OK.
Friday, August 3, 2007
P.S. It’s hard to tell but I am actually wearing short white shorts and I had my heels on if I would have made one wrong turn on Spenard, I could have made some serious money. NOT!
Thursday, August 2, 2007
I'm pissed that everyone seems to be concerned about my being tired but no one has said "Gee Keri sorry to hear about BOB dying and all." I don't think you all understand how many fish I have killed in the last year it's starting to cause emtional scaring. Which is why I am blaming this one on the Mafia!
Today I work both jobs and don’t get off until like 11:15 tonight and then it’s on to Judi Gras for an hour or so. I am hoping to be in bed by 3 am so tomorrow I will be dragging because I have to do it all again.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Seriously I have been up since 6:00 am this morning helping Poppy move. There is nothing like breaking a sweat that early in the morning moving a couch so heavy that it could be used as an anchor for an ocean liner. I now feel that I deserve a milkshake among other things. (Note: The U-Haul on Old Seward – SUCKS they can’t even keep their bay doors working – black mark for you U-Haul.) If I owned that couch I would have hauled back and kicked it (it wouldn’t have helped but it would have made me feel better) alas it was not mine so I had to content myself with giving it the evil eye! I’m watching you couch – me and you lets step outside! “Scat!”
Where am I?
What day is it?
Obviously the lack of my usual ten hours of sleep a night are finally starting to take it’s toll on me – HECK, I might just sleep all day tomorrow – instead of doing the things I need to like cleaning and running errands.
I do not have to work tomorrow because I took the day off from everywhere so I will be going out tonight – however I will not be posting anything until Thursday. If you get bored feel free to talk amongst yourselves. Keep it clean (I’m looking at you TOOL!)
Monday, July 30, 2007
Friday – Get off work – then swing by Marcella’s BBQ briefly to give her a birthday card (HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!), but then I had to run because the plan was to go and see Harry Potter – well once we got to the theater it was just way to crazy – so Melody and I went for dinner at Applebee’s and then called up Lexie and Blondie and discovered them sitting at The Crossroads – so we decided to join them there. Well about 9:00 I start to get a headache and feel tired so I leave the girls to carry on without me and go home and fall into bed (Hey I have had late nights for the last couple of weeks and it’s finally catching up with me). Well at some point I can’t remember the times I get a phone call from Lexie & Melody – apparently they had decided to hit most the bars downtown and Blondie decided to take a cab home (she was so running away from the other girls). Then while I was on the phone with Lexie she walked by the gaslight and puts Tool on the phone (Hi Tool.) Then she gets back on the phone and informs me to basically get my butt out of bed and meet them at Kootz. I do and in the time it takes me to get there Lexie has proceeded to drop her cell phone in the toilet at Kootz and Melody fishes it out for her – and I’m sure they are both going to get some sort of flesh eating disease. I don’t know what time I went home but I had to get up and be functional for my first whole day at my new job 3 to close standing and running around all day.
Saturday – Went to work and got off at 11:10pm and then briefly met up with everyone at Kootz again, I got there at midnight and left at 1:30 – I was tired, hungry and not looking my best and frankly my feet were killing me. So I went home and did some laundry and stuffed my face with comfort food to the point I almost made myself sick by eating too much. Apparently after I left the girls kept on partying and I did receive several drunken phone calls but that might be because I sort of sneaked away. I didn’t want anyone talking me out of not going. I’m told there was some sort of cab incident – but whatever – whenever is there not incidents.
Sunday – Roommate Sam called from Utah at 9:30 in the morning – (he knows better then to do that, I don’t know what came over him or what he was thinking). Well I figured that if I had to be up so did everyone else. So since I needed to borrow a work truck to help “Poppy” move I made Lexie and Melody come over to drive me to get it. We brought it back and then we all snuggled on the bed and then I got up and had to be to work again at 2 and more standing (MY LEGS ARE KILLING ME AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO TRADE I WOULD BE MORE THEN HAPPY TOO!) I got off at 9:15 last night and then Lexie calls me and when I call her back (A guy answers the phone and has me going for a split second on some story and then I realize that it is some guy messing with me – but I for the life of me can’t figure out who would be with Lexie.) So I hang up and a moment later it hits me and I have to call back. Yup – I totally forgot Mike (from Florida) just got into town that afternoon. So once I call him on it he says I have to come down and meet them at the Pioneer downtown and that he’s not taking NO for an answer. Well I haven’t seen him in forever so I head down there and stay until 11:00 and then I come home and wait on “Poppy” so I can make a run with the truck and then return it to work. I think we got done by about one-ish. But I didn’t get to sleep until about 2:30 so I’m tired my legs are still killing me and I really just want to go home and crawl into bed and sleep the day away. Suppose to have a BBQ at my house tonight but it’s raining so I don’t think that is going to happen. I’ll let you know though.
P.S. Mike is here for like 12 days – so expect major partying and I have every intention of feeling his muscles up close and personal. Not to mention I think we will have to have a snuggle off – I am so going to win! Because I AM AWESOME!
Friday, July 27, 2007
This is your Queen of Kootz signing off.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
So I totally just drank coffee. Now I am jamming out and my chair dancing skills are smokin and I’m bouncing off the walls listening to Peter, Paul and Mary.
“Lemon Tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet, but the fruit of poor lemon is impossible to eat.”
Next up: I’m leaving on a Jet Plane, Puff the Magic Dragon and back flips off my desk top.
Coffee is my Crack – which is why I don’t drink it much.
“Luke, I am your Father.”
Come to think about it now – that was DUMB I am surprised I made it up the stairs to the stage going that fast I could have totally injured something or someone. Oh well I have enthusiasm – GO ME! “Burrrr its cold in here there must be some Kare Bears in the atmosphere!”
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
OK so to be honest I had a shitty day yesterday and all I could think about for the last half of my work day was that I really just wanted to go home and take a bath. However I have a regular size bathtub and well cramming a six foot frame into it isn’t as relaxing as it sounds. So I called up Lexie’s parents and informed them I would pay them to allow me to come over and invade their home and most especially their big ass tub. What was that I’m family so I can come over (HA – I’m back in the will Lexie).
So once I lower myself into the hot water and my legs were straight and every part of my body was actually under water a sigh escaped my lips and yes I bit my lip and made the “O” face. Then not to be out done by Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman I went all the way under and I guess I was too relaxed because all of the sudden water is rushing up my nose and I’m drowning in someone bath tub WTF! (So not my day!) I come sputtering up and now my nose burns (but Hey my sinuses are cleaned out). Well I relax again and begin to almost float (with my face above water). Then Lexie comes in and asks if I want ice cream. Ice Cream while sitting in the bath – HELL YES – MAY I HAVE ANOTHER! I am a celebrity you will worship me and in preparation for that day Lexie also took a picture of me with my ice cream in the tub and then something happened and the picture got sent somewhere – of course it won’t surface until I become famous then it will be splashed all over the internet. Currently this photo resides on my phone and will be brought out at drunk moments, YeHaw! Whatever once I was done with my soak and had turned fully into a prune. I left Lexie at her parents and went home.
When I die please bury me in that tub.
P.S. Lexie’s parents are in my will (you will get a whole 5 cents each) – I will forever owe you.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Wait what’s my name again!
“Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, You killed my father prepare to die!”
Monday, July 23, 2007
So Friday I was exhausted so I went to bed early and ignored everyone. Woke up Saturday morning at 9:00 and Alexis had decided since it was the most fabulous day out ever that we needed to go to Big Lake. So I am dressed in my Maui best ready for the beach look and we head out. Once we get there we almost immediately hopped on the Jet Ski’s. We then proceeded to tear it up and I was chasing boats and jumping wakes and I hit this one and when I landed the handlebars were turned and the Jet Ski shot off in one direction and I went the other. That’s right Keri tanked it in the middle of the lake (MAN DOWN!). Lexie didn’t actually witness the incident but she looked around in time to see me in the water and my Jet Ski 50 feet away. Well I whined enough that she towed me back to it. However everything was wet and I lost my rose sunglasses (The first casualty of the war of the Jet Ski’s) which are now residing at the bottom of the lake.
Then later in the day Lexie’s mom gets into an all out water war with the neighbor and by the end of that the dock was completely drenched and my phone was wet. I tried to save it and I can still text message but the speaker and mic are having difficulties and it’s hard to hear people or have them hear me. Maybe it will start working in another couple of days.
I ended up going to Kootz for a couple hours Saturday night ran into Marcella there and just hung out and then left early. Slept most of the day Sunday.
P.S. I lost another 3 pounds this last week “SWEET!” (DOUBLE ARM PUMP <- Brianism)
Friday, July 20, 2007
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
For those of you wondering why I was out on a week night it was Dallas’s Birthday – SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY DALLAS!
Most memorably funny quote from last night was Dallas saying “Lexie’s all up in your Kool-Aid!” he gets 20 points for making me laugh yet again this morning.
So here’s to great times and friends – even the ones up in your Kool-Aid.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Friday – after work I met Alexis at her parent’s house where we proceeded to have a great time and I ended up showing them my bloomers – but hey they are family.
Then I met up with Tammy and Ashley and we headed to Kootz where they proceeded to get their drink on and I was the reliable designated driver and drank diet coke all night (Major props to Joe my bartender for getting Ashley drunk). The girls ended up leaving around 1:30 Tool gave them a ride home and I remained around to drive the other drunk people home. So at the end of the night after dropping everyone off, I then went home grabbed the dog and invaded Alexis’s house at 3 AM she was a trooper.
Saturday – get home around noon from Lexie’s and we had planned on having a BBQ at the house so that started at 6:00 ish. Multiple people showed up and I proceeded to get my drink on since I had been so good the night before – now I remember everything because I have yet to experience this blackout thing so many other people have so I unfortunately always remember what happens. Sam and me got into a wrestling match and I lost (he swung me around like a rag doll – very manly if his back hurts from lifting my fat ass I will not be held accountable). Then at another point Lexie had me on my stomach on the ground tickling my feet at which point I spent about 5 mins flat on my back in the grass. Some of my sunglasses are missing “AND I WANT THEM BACK!” one pair even got broke (MAN DOWN!) and one stolen “Dimples I’m looking at you.” And his wife Blondie tried to steal another pair but then she lost them and claims I never gave them back even though I put them on her face (I still haven’t found them – they are probably in someone purse). For some reason no one would make eye contact with me – maybe it had something to do with the fact that if they did I would yell “EYE CONTACT – YOU WANT SOME LOVIN.” At which point I would then molest whoever it was that had looked at me and it didn’t matter who it was. By the end of the night we ended up at Club O and then everyone else was moving on to other clubs and I wanted to go home but Blondie wouldn’t leave me on the side of the bar waiting for a cab by myself which was totally ridiculous since security was there but I appreciate it anyway!
I went home and passed out with my bedroom window open at 1:30 and was out until 3:30 when my phone rang because some people were not done partying yet. By that point I was naked and freezing and not even about to get up to shut my window much less go down and start drinking again.
Sunday – SLEPT ALL DAY LONG – and went over to bug Alexis again – I think she is getting tired of me. NAW – THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!
As for my title that has to do with a private conversation! Much love to you all and hope everyone had a great weekend too!
Friday, July 13, 2007
So ME, ME, ME, I, I, I, Twirl, Twirl, Twirl!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Which is all to the good since I was flouncing around yesterday in my black and white poka dot dress. There is something freeing about wearing a dress – knowing that you can moon someone and have your dress back down before they even knew what hit them.
Although as some of my friends can validate dresses are a lot like shorts and I have a tendency to pull the sides up on my shorts (like up to my ears) this usually only happens when alcohol is involved but sometimes just being in a good mood triggers these episodes of pantspulupits – it is a rare medical condition that is not funny in the slightest, (unless you’re a friend or family member).
Here’s to white cotton underwear.
P.S. Met up with the girls last night to hang out – so this is my shout out to Alexis, Melody and C…C….C….Blondie!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
I was e-mailing a friend of mine and she tried to pull one over on me so I shot back with a retort that was both witty and true at which point her reply was “You have too much dirt on me.”
When it comes to your close friends is it possible to have too much dirt? I don’t think so – I think it shows that you know everything about them and yet you still love them no matter what – I think it’s a true test of friendship. With this comes awesome responsibility though, say you were to have a falling out with said friend and not be friends anymore EVER this would not give you license to go around airing their dirty laundry everywhere. Guess I’m not vindictive!
Then again my friends keep my secrets (to the grave beotches)!
Locked up tight as Fort Knox here in Alaska.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
“Survey Says! I’m still on-call for the rest of the week even though I was dismissed today.”
Monday, July 9, 2007
P.S. I woke up this morning with this nasty bruise on the arch of my left foot and I have no idea where it came from. It wasn’t there yesterday that I would understand.