Monday, November 19, 2007

Episode LXXVI: “Hmm, Well Shit.”

This is totally my new motto: “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out screaming ‘WOO HOO what a ride!”

So with this in mind I actually have every intention of sliding in with a Kate Spade purse holding a bunch of the little plastic mermaids that accompany a cocktail made by Joe, Coach Shoes so worn out from dancing you can’t even read the label and my Christian Dior sunglasses (which believe it or not I still have not lost and they currently hold the record for longest lasting sunglasses in the history of Keri) hiding the wrinkles on my face that as of right now have not appeared because I am fabulous.

While we all know I have no problem with my self esteem and I know I am fabulous and I know that you all know I am fabulous. However there are some out there who have not grasp this knowledge (to the random guy standing next to me at the bar wondering where his drink is because he was there first – for like an hour, to the girl at Best Buy who looks confused by the fact that this girl in a pink ski cap and jeans with a big fluffy vest on is getting all the attention from everyone – “I just realized this the other night – apparently I have a great aura”, to the nameless ones out there you know who you are) I AM FABULOUS! And I will beat you over the head with my handbag until you realize it.

So while I realize that I have a certain talent to talk my way in or out of anything (I am pretty sure I could talk my way on to Air Force One if I wanted too). I have decided not to use my power for evil but to help others who I think deserve it so if there is anything any of my peeps need you holla at me and I will let my mojo flow.


Anonymous said...

You know I love you, you know I think you are fabulous, you know I would do anything for you, but I think your head might explode. BestBuy…Keri? It is true you have an ora but do not turn it into an o-der. LOL
Two breast tap

Alayna said...

heehee you're too funny love. Love that quote, first read it on something Mandie had sent out, guess your two great minds still think alike. lol Wish ya lived closer, could use a little mojo for a good work at home job. =)

Marz said...

girl... you crack me up, and I love you for it.... but I don't know that your mojo can fix this one. :(

Anonymous said...

ya'll suck. the word is 'aura'.

AlaskaMe said...

OK so I changed it but I am still fabulous.