Rainbow bright here – checking in.
So I have done a lot of thinking the last couple of days. This is what I have come up with:
So I have always been the good child relatively easy to raise I can fit into almost any situation and feel comfortable. This I totally thank my mother for and the fact that I was a military brat. I’m use to moving and having to adapt. I can usually fit into any group of people weather it be a black tie event or standing in the middle of the ghetto. I look at people as if they are just that people not a group. Over all I have usually always had my shit together.
Then Grandpa passed away (I am not using this as an excuse) but it sort of threw me for a loop. I was already starting to have financial difficulties at this time and so when the doctor introduced me to my Happy Pills – all hell broke loose. That’s right I felt fabulous and had tons of energy. Downside: I didn’t give a shit about anything.
That’s right folks for the last half of the year I have been rebelling. I never got my rebel stage (I think I was gypped in this because it’s better to go through this stage when you’re younger and it’s easier to rebound when you’re in your early twenties as opposed to say your late twenties). So alas no more Happy Pills means I am not dealing with change in my life as easily as I would have say 6 months ago. Now when I get a shut off notice for one of my many overdue bills I no longer shout into the night “Bite ME electric company I will pay you when I feel like it as long as my mortgage is paid I will live in my house freezing and in the dark and you still won’t take me, WaaHaHa!”
Now it’s more like I open the bill and then curl up into a little ball and start crying. I will make it, it will be tough for the next few months but I am confident that I can make it back to the place where I have my shit together and people can rely on me once again.
So I would like to apologize right now to my family first for being a complete idiot and to the friends I have lost touch with in my quest to be the party girl and just have a little fun. The shark that is life has just swam up from the depths of my soul where the old Keri resides still, broken but not beat down to the point of no return – yeah that shark has just bitten me in the ass.
However the upside of the Happy Pills is that I am not afraid to show emotion and I know if I break down and cry it will all be OK because my friends and family will still love me.