Episode LXXXXVII: “I Had A Bad Moment Last Night”

So my day and night were actually pretty good yesterday. Until I decided I needed to clean out my closet and pack away the clothes I can’t wear right now. As I tried things on some of the clothes I can wear again are almost ten years old. That is not the depressing part though the problem is most of the clothes that were tight on me are now almost a bit baggy and we all know I like to wear jeans and pants that I need a pair of pliers to pull the zipper up with to pour myself into to them. Not so much now because I have NO ASS! What little that is there is a bit saggy and in most of my nice pants when you look at me from behind I look like a board - straight down. This is no longer funny and an intervention is in order. I don’t care what the norm is I would rather gain thirty pounds and have my curves back then be skinny. I am seriously remembering some horrible times from high school when I had no boobs but I still at least had a butt – now I have neither. So I will start my lunges this evening I think if I do a thousand of them a day that should help perk up the butt I have and I plan on eating only pasta as soon as I have money again to go shopping.

I just weighed myself and I am now at 169 and that is fully clothed. My goal is to get back up to 190.