Episode XLXII: “Back to life, back to reality, back to the here and now.”

OK so everything is back to the way it should be. Poppy got back last night and we put in an appearance at Kootz, I haven’t been there in almost a week, so it was like old home week. Anyway ran into Joe my bartender who was actually playing night bar manager last night – so way to go Joe! Moving up that ladder – although tonight he will be back to being my bartender.

I am planning on having the last chance summer dance BBQ on Saturday. It will be the last one for this year. We are going to just start having indoor parties for the winter. It’s coming up on that time of year where I usually start hibernating. So if it comes to you thinking I have fallen off the face of the earth – I am just sleeping.

Episode XLXI: “Busy Little Bee”

I am posting this picture so you can see what Bri Bri looks like and this is him with Josh. These are my boys but I share them with Lexie on occasion, HA! Seriously these two are awesome and there was some drinking after I left on Thursday night, why is Josh grabbing his chest – don’t know I wasn’t there.

So I have been busy since my last post lots of working and cleaning around the house. Tonight I have to clean the carpets and I still haven’t finished my laundry. I am hoping to have everything done by the end of the week since there will be a BBQ at my house on Saturday and that way if it rains or something I will not be embarrassed to have the party moved indoors. I will not be attending Kootz until possibly Thursday night not sure yet. Busy Busy Busy!

Hope everyone has “Big Things” planned for the holiday weekend and I want everyone to have fun and be safe!

Episode XLX: “I have a lovely bunch of coconuts.”

Ok so Poppy has left me for the next few days so to cheer myself up I agreed to meet Lexie and Mel at Kootz last night even though I was originally planning on going home and going right to bed. Well those two were late – because lets face it we are all the queens of the fashionably late crew. So I spent the first 30 minutes by myself (not really Joe my bartender kept me company) until the girls showed up at like 8:45. We hung out went over the old business and addressed the new business and then brought the meeting of the “Sex and the City – Alaska Chapter” to a close and then I totally bailed on my girls at 10 and was at home in bed 10:30 I was out like a rock and slept well considering. I have to work both jobs tonight and I am going to take a break from all the partying to do some much needed cleaning/organizing around the house. So I will post something on Monday although not sure if anything interesting will happen over the weekend.

PS – I have a ringing in my ears – what’s that mean.

Episode XLIX: “Let's revisit the pole dancing.”

So last night I ended up going to Kootz again because some friends were celebrating a birthday party. So Mel and I got there at 10 and met up with Poppy. We were all hanging out in the swing bar listen to this guy sing Karaoke and I was pole dancing with the support beams again when all of the sudden the singer came up and started to sing to me. Whoa big fella! I was not dancing for you. Mel is so fired because she just started to laugh (she is such a lousy wing man) and Poppy was no help either. So I guess that is the last time I dance when sober if I would have been drunk I wouldn’t have cared but since I wasn’t it was like “Uh – NO! Back away slowly little man.” Anyway so the comedy show is tonight and we will be there again. But I will not be going anywhere near that pole tonight.

Episode XLVIII: “Pretty In Pink”

OK not the best picture – Mr. Doubly is back ruining my photos but you get the point with the hair. The above reference picture was taken on Friday night before we went out to Kootz. Me and Melody were as always waiting on Lexie and we decided to pose for a picture on her bed. We didn’t stay out late and I was home by 1:30.

I had to work the closing shift both days this weekend, but after I got off on Saturday I met up with Michelle’s birthday party at Bernie’s and then we headed over to Platinum Jacks, literally walked through the Gaslight and said hello to T00L and then ended up at the Woodshed I had a total of two drinks and for some reason was pretty buzzed must have been the lack of dinner and sleep – but I had a blast and today Michelle is officially 30. I have nothing exciting planned for tonight just doing some laundry and cleaning because if the house is a mess when Sam gets home he is going to be mad.

Episode XLVII: “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!”

Well I went over to Lexie’s house last night and she bleached out my roots and then we decided to go funky. So instead of accidentally ending up with purple hair we purposely gave me fuchsia hair. That’s right peeps I have bright pink chunks in my hair and when Lexie was doing the hair dye apparently I looked all crazy with my hair so she all of the sudden tells me I look sexy and then says “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice” that shit is still funny this morning. Anyway this morning my boss’s first words out of his mouth were “Oh No you didn’t” followed by him telling someone I looked like an Easter Egg. I like it now that I am getting use to it – I did scare myself this morning when I went into the bathroom sort of forgot while sleeping that I had done it and when it’s pulled back in a ponytail it looks a little weird. So I didn’t get to sleep until 11:00 last night and besides sleeping weird and messing up my neck I am at least not tired. So hopefully pictures of the new DO by next Monday will let you know.

Episode XLVI: “Holy Crap Batman!”

Well lets see Tuesday night I didn’t get to bed until 2:00 am because I went and hung out at a friends house. Pretty much just vegged on their couch and listened to music. Although I did let the cat out of the house so if she comes back pregnant I have been told in no uncertain terms that it will be my responsibility to find homes for the kittens so I may be calling on you guys to bail me out.

Last night we went to the Comedy show (like we do on Wednesday’s) and hung out there for a bit. I left around midnight but didn’t get to sleep until almost 2 again. I looked so good and finally was able to fit into my skinny jeans (it’s a pair I bought two years ago that never fit me and so the tags were still on) so I poured myself into them and it was worth it because a random guy bought me a drink. So SWEET!

Tonight after work I will be invading Lexie’s house and she will be coloring and cutting my hair and who knows it might end up purple and really short – but it should be fun getting it that way. I am sure there will also be some napage because we are both tired. My plan is to get into bed early tonight but we all know how well that plan usually works out. “The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry”

Episode XLV: “Close the Curtains and Go to Town”

Good Morning Peeps! Had a great evening last night. Once I got to work at 5:15 I realized that I was actually only scheduled until 9 so I didn’t have to close – for some reason that just totally made my day. Once I did get off I got home and ran around the house closing all the curtains and then stripped down to my birthday suit. Why you ask BECAUSE I CAN! That’s right Sam is not home for the next two weeks and I don’t have to worry about streaking and rounding a corner and coming face to face with him. So I took this time to enjoy (especially since it was so bloody hot yesterday). So pretty much I did nothing, I didn’t even turn the TV on I was on the phone for a bit and I was asleep by midnight. What a great night.

GONE - He's GONE!

That's right folks I have misplaced #53 Niko Koutouvides - he apparently will no longer be playing with the Seattle Seahawks (who the heck am I going to watch when I'm in town watching the game live). I am seriously thinking about boycotting the Seahawks! It's so unfair - of course I have no idea what position he played or what better purpose he could serve then being there to amuse me. If this decision had to made I really think the coach should have consulted me first.

Grrrrrrrr!

Episode XLIV: “Boys Will Be Boys.”

So I don’t know what is up with the boys in this photo – Josh is completely pretending he doesn’t know us and Luke is being a freak!

OK so since my last serious post on Wednesday I was off work (both jobs) Thursday and Friday with some medical issues. However earlier in the week we had sent out mass e-mail, MySpace and text message invites to a spaghetti feed at my house on Friday night and since I wasn’t entirely sure who all was going to come I didn’t know who to call to cancel since I wasn’t feeling good. So crap – it was still on.

Friday – we had a good turn out and Lexie made the bomb ass Spaghetti. No drinking for Keri though – but that did not stop everyone else – some major drunkenness ensued and the next morning when I left for work it looked like a used car lot out in front of my house. Unfortunately there are no photos from this night because no one busted out with a digital and when I tried to use my dinosaur of a camera I got shouted down by several people. Anyway there fault.

Saturday I worked 9 to 5 and then came home and napped – Melody met over at my house and borrowed something to wear and then we got dressed up and went out (hence the picture from above). I ended up only staying about an hour and a half and then I bailed and went to bed – there was more sleeping on Sunday and then I shipped Sam off to the lower 48 for two weeks and then met up with Alexis, Brian, Marcella and Melody at Red Robin for lunch where we proceeded to strap on feedbags and get our grub on. Then I went home and watch the Seahawks spank the Chargers (OK spank not really the word more like barely a tap on the butt) it doesn’t matter a win is a win.

Today I work both jobs and then I plan on going home and crashing. I stayed up to late last night trying to see some of the meteor shower I saw a couple of them then finally gave up and went to bed.

P.S. Summer is almost over and I am going to miss it once it is gone.

NO I'm Not DEAD!

So I haven't posted anything because I have had a rough week - not feeling that well and all, but I will post on my activities over the last few days tomorrow.

Much Love to Everyone!

Episode XLIII: “Baby Got BACK!”

OK so since nothing truly exciting happened yesterday and I just worked all day and I do mean WORKED (8:00 am to 11:15 pm). I decided my post would be a slight deviation from the norm. Today we are going to talk about me! That’s right – because it’s my blog and I can toot my own horn if I want too.
So the number for the day is 25, yep twenty-five! That’s how many pounds I have lost since the beginning of May. I am pretty sure that this is mainly to do with me just being happy and working two jobs I don’t just eat because I can. I eat when my stomach tells me too and I stop when I am full. I know it’s a novel concept – who would have thunk it. So for those of you who are worried my butt is of course here to stay it’s been with me since before I met my boobs so we go way back, but I am hoping to part ways permanently with my double chin we had a falling out and are not friends anymore it kept ruining all my pictures, peeing on the toilet seat and leaving dirty laundry on the floor. You will notice in the picture below that it is not there. That’s right, so long Doublely don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

So in a perfect world 35 pounds to go, although I am comfortable at this weight but I really want to get back into my leather pants so I think that is at least another 15.

OK so this post was just like the others: All about Me Me Me I I I!!

Keep on trucking: “My anaconda don’t want none, Unless you’ve got buns, hun.”

Episode XLII: “We Are The HOTNESS”

So Friday night I worked and then went to bed early because I had to work the early shift on Saturday morning 9 to 5. Then after work on Saturday I took a nap and then Alexis invaded my house, because we were going to go out.

I got dressed up in an actual dress (I call it my Maui dress – cause that’s where I got it and it was, up until this weekend the only place I wore it). I won’t even tell you how many times I got hit on or cat called. Insane this one crazy dude though came over to us girls on the back porch and next thing I know Lexie and Melody left me sitting there with this guy (I could have killed them – where was the loyalty). So when I couldn’t dislodge the guy on my own – I made the silent plead to the bouncer (with eye contact that screamed HELP ME!). Eye contact is my thing and the bouncer came over and rescued me and escorted the lovely crazy drunk man from the premises. Then of course Alexis shows back up and looks at the bouncer and is like “Did he save you?” Yeah no thanks to you Beotch!

Also that night Melody said she would give me $20 if I crawled along the bar counter. I asked the bartenders and they were all for it but there was so many people with their drinks on the bar that I decided to wait until later in the night. Well then I forgot – so damn – I can’t believe I missed that photo opt. Oh Well, always next time. Melody, Lexie and I all got back to Lexie’s house at around 3 am and then passed out. Then Melody left sometime after the McDonald’s run and sometime during the 3rd nap (but at least she left a note and cleaned the kitchen so we didn’t feel used). Eventually I woke up and went home at like 4:30 and was suppose to go right back to go out to dinner with Lexie but then I fell back asleep and Lexie ended up driving over to my house and so dinner was like 7:30 to 9:00 then I went home and back to bed.

Woke up yesterday morning and completely threw up my dinner from the night before. Oh HELL NO! I’m the type of person who would rather hold it inside then lose control over my bodily functions (which is what throwing up is like for me). Not to mention it doesn’t get much sexier then a naked chick bent over a toilet having a hot flash and sweating then collapsing to the bathroom floor to shiver on the cold linoleum all the while wishing mom or grandma was there (to take care of me) – thank god Sam wasn’t up yet. Needless to say I didn’t make it to work yesterday – so I’m here now and doing OK.

Episode XLI: “Judi Gras”

So obviously this is a picture of me and Lexie at Judi Gras Last Night (Yes I know Koots AGAIN!) I managed to get out of there in a little over an hour and was home and in bed by 1:30am. However leaving Lexie there was a big mistake, Melody you are fired. This morning I received pictures of her taken with my men. These are my boys and she is getting all photo happy – whatever! I miss Brian he would at least give me some loving and Mike wasn’t there either. Oh well more work today at both jobs and then I plan on being in bed by 9:30 tonight since I have to work the early shift tomorrow. Beads, love and Boobs from A-Town!

P.S. It’s hard to tell but I am actually wearing short white shorts and I had my heels on if I would have made one wrong turn on Spenard, I could have made some serious money. NOT!

Look What I Just Found!

OMG! I am so friggin cute. I think I was 14 or 15 in this picture and it was taken on some river in North Carolina. I had to share it with everyone because I actually think this might be my natural hair color! Come to think of it I think I started dying my hair shortly after this and got addicted and now I may never know when I actually go gray.

P.S.
I'm pissed that everyone seems to be concerned about my being tired but no one has said "Gee Keri sorry to hear about BOB dying and all." I don't think you all understand how many fish I have killed in the last year it's starting to cause emtional scaring. Which is why I am blaming this one on the Mafia!

Breaking News: This Just in -

I regret to inform you that BOB the fish was found dead this morning at 8:00 am he was found on the bottom of the fish bowl and we suspect mafia involvement as he was currently registered in the witness protection program. A memorial service was held at 9:00 am at the toilet located off of 57th Place. There was a lovely tribute performed vocally by myself as BOB swirled around the basin. We will miss you BOB and you shall be replaced in a few days.

Episode XXXX: “Tell Me A Fable.”

Good morning sunshine! So I went out on Tuesday night and ended up closing down the bar. Awesome! Of course I didn’t get to sleep until 5 am and even then I was up and down until noon. So I didn’t get to sleep all day yesterday like I wanted to but I did get an hour nap at Lexie’s yesterday and I got some errands done too. So pretty much nothing to exciting.

Today I work both jobs and don’t get off until like 11:15 tonight and then it’s on to Judi Gras for an hour or so. I am hoping to be in bed by 3 am so tomorrow I will be dragging because I have to do it all again.