Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Episode XLII: “We Are The HOTNESS”

So Friday night I worked and then went to bed early because I had to work the early shift on Saturday morning 9 to 5. Then after work on Saturday I took a nap and then Alexis invaded my house, because we were going to go out.

I got dressed up in an actual dress (I call it my Maui dress – cause that’s where I got it and it was, up until this weekend the only place I wore it). I won’t even tell you how many times I got hit on or cat called. Insane this one crazy dude though came over to us girls on the back porch and next thing I know Lexie and Melody left me sitting there with this guy (I could have killed them – where was the loyalty). So when I couldn’t dislodge the guy on my own – I made the silent plead to the bouncer (with eye contact that screamed HELP ME!). Eye contact is my thing and the bouncer came over and rescued me and escorted the lovely crazy drunk man from the premises. Then of course Alexis shows back up and looks at the bouncer and is like “Did he save you?” Yeah no thanks to you Beotch!

Also that night Melody said she would give me $20 if I crawled along the bar counter. I asked the bartenders and they were all for it but there was so many people with their drinks on the bar that I decided to wait until later in the night. Well then I forgot – so damn – I can’t believe I missed that photo opt. Oh Well, always next time. Melody, Lexie and I all got back to Lexie’s house at around 3 am and then passed out. Then Melody left sometime after the McDonald’s run and sometime during the 3rd nap (but at least she left a note and cleaned the kitchen so we didn’t feel used). Eventually I woke up and went home at like 4:30 and was suppose to go right back to go out to dinner with Lexie but then I fell back asleep and Lexie ended up driving over to my house and so dinner was like 7:30 to 9:00 then I went home and back to bed.

Woke up yesterday morning and completely threw up my dinner from the night before. Oh HELL NO! I’m the type of person who would rather hold it inside then lose control over my bodily functions (which is what throwing up is like for me). Not to mention it doesn’t get much sexier then a naked chick bent over a toilet having a hot flash and sweating then collapsing to the bathroom floor to shiver on the cold linoleum all the while wishing mom or grandma was there (to take care of me) – thank god Sam wasn’t up yet. Needless to say I didn’t make it to work yesterday – so I’m here now and doing OK.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

you're already having menopausal hot flashes? damn girl, i didnt know you were over the hill!

okay, now heres where i have a gripe. nearly every female i know fails to have the gumption to be rude and turn down a guys advances. whether its the drunk weirdo, or the ex that keeps calling, most females just cant bring themselves to be mean enough to say 'no' in such a way that a man will recognize it.
all you had to do was tell the drunk to step off or you'd stomp on his sack. but you had to communicate telepathically with a bouncer to get rescued?

btw, nice pic, lexie is looking all kinds of cute! when are you going to get dressed up and look appropiate for a night out at the club keri?

T00L

AlaskaMe said...

WHAT! That is the most dressed up I have ever been. Loser you are so not invited to my get together on Friday! FIRED!

Anonymous said...

He is most certainly invited, I am cooking!
L

Anonymous said...

yeah! make sure you dress up for me keri. and puhleeeze do something with your hair!

lmao

i loving having one foot in the doghouse.

T00L

Anonymous said...

What? are you on crack? at least i cleaned the kitchen so you didn't feel used- my ass i bought breakfast/lunch not to mention the pizza from the night before then you two decided to go take a nap with out me. You left me OUT! I was being nice when i picked up the kitchen and living room. I see where i rate in the scheme of things.
Thanks!

AlaskaMe said...

Ohh! Melody is ang-y! We love you girl and there was some snugglage!

Anonymous said...

Sunggle, snugglelage, snuggies, ty ty, snuggies, hungie, hmmmm you guys need to stope trying to be like me.
Snuggle Whores!

Anonymous said...

Did anyone notice Mel's bresteses?

AlaskaMe said...

I did - I did. "We're ready for our close up Mr. D...?" Don't know how to spell that but seriously - I think we should name them bashfull and happy - what do you say.

Anonymous said...

I don't know who Mr. D is...
L

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

What the hell- now you are talking about my breasteses....and you want to name them bashfull and happ? which one is which?

AlaskaMe said...

It doesn't matter which one is what. It's all about you showing them off.

Anonymous said...

I have shyness issues!

BlondeBombshellBlog said...

Wow, I think that's the most comments I've seen on your blog. Way to go (and now I just added to it)!