Episode XLII: “We Are The HOTNESS”

So Friday night I worked and then went to bed early because I had to work the early shift on Saturday morning 9 to 5. Then after work on Saturday I took a nap and then Alexis invaded my house, because we were going to go out.

I got dressed up in an actual dress (I call it my Maui dress – cause that’s where I got it and it was, up until this weekend the only place I wore it). I won’t even tell you how many times I got hit on or cat called. Insane this one crazy dude though came over to us girls on the back porch and next thing I know Lexie and Melody left me sitting there with this guy (I could have killed them – where was the loyalty). So when I couldn’t dislodge the guy on my own – I made the silent plead to the bouncer (with eye contact that screamed HELP ME!). Eye contact is my thing and the bouncer came over and rescued me and escorted the lovely crazy drunk man from the premises. Then of course Alexis shows back up and looks at the bouncer and is like “Did he save you?” Yeah no thanks to you Beotch!

Also that night Melody said she would give me $20 if I crawled along the bar counter. I asked the bartenders and they were all for it but there was so many people with their drinks on the bar that I decided to wait until later in the night. Well then I forgot – so damn – I can’t believe I missed that photo opt. Oh Well, always next time. Melody, Lexie and I all got back to Lexie’s house at around 3 am and then passed out. Then Melody left sometime after the McDonald’s run and sometime during the 3rd nap (but at least she left a note and cleaned the kitchen so we didn’t feel used). Eventually I woke up and went home at like 4:30 and was suppose to go right back to go out to dinner with Lexie but then I fell back asleep and Lexie ended up driving over to my house and so dinner was like 7:30 to 9:00 then I went home and back to bed.

Woke up yesterday morning and completely threw up my dinner from the night before. Oh HELL NO! I’m the type of person who would rather hold it inside then lose control over my bodily functions (which is what throwing up is like for me). Not to mention it doesn’t get much sexier then a naked chick bent over a toilet having a hot flash and sweating then collapsing to the bathroom floor to shiver on the cold linoleum all the while wishing mom or grandma was there (to take care of me) – thank god Sam wasn’t up yet. Needless to say I didn’t make it to work yesterday – so I’m here now and doing OK.