Episode XXII: “It’s hard to just snuggle when you get naked like that!”

So as I sit here eating the left over macaroni salad (thanks Blondie) I think back on my weekend and the first thing that comes to mind was that I was really drunk on Saturday and I have the best friends EVER!

Friday – after work I met Alexis at her parent’s house where we proceeded to have a great time and I ended up showing them my bloomers – but hey they are family.

Then I met up with Tammy and Ashley and we headed to Kootz where they proceeded to get their drink on and I was the reliable designated driver and drank diet coke all night (Major props to Joe my bartender for getting Ashley drunk). The girls ended up leaving around 1:30 Tool gave them a ride home and I remained around to drive the other drunk people home. So at the end of the night after dropping everyone off, I then went home grabbed the dog and invaded Alexis’s house at 3 AM she was a trooper.

Saturday – get home around noon from Lexie’s and we had planned on having a BBQ at the house so that started at 6:00 ish. Multiple people showed up and I proceeded to get my drink on since I had been so good the night before – now I remember everything because I have yet to experience this blackout thing so many other people have so I unfortunately always remember what happens. Sam and me got into a wrestling match and I lost (he swung me around like a rag doll – very manly if his back hurts from lifting my fat ass I will not be held accountable). Then at another point Lexie had me on my stomach on the ground tickling my feet at which point I spent about 5 mins flat on my back in the grass. Some of my sunglasses are missing “AND I WANT THEM BACK!” one pair even got broke (MAN DOWN!) and one stolen “Dimples I’m looking at you.” And his wife Blondie tried to steal another pair but then she lost them and claims I never gave them back even though I put them on her face (I still haven’t found them – they are probably in someone purse). For some reason no one would make eye contact with me – maybe it had something to do with the fact that if they did I would yell “EYE CONTACT – YOU WANT SOME LOVIN.” At which point I would then molest whoever it was that had looked at me and it didn’t matter who it was. By the end of the night we ended up at Club O and then everyone else was moving on to other clubs and I wanted to go home but Blondie wouldn’t leave me on the side of the bar waiting for a cab by myself which was totally ridiculous since security was there but I appreciate it anyway!

I went home and passed out with my bedroom window open at 1:30 and was out until 3:30 when my phone rang because some people were not done partying yet. By that point I was naked and freezing and not even about to get up to shut my window much less go down and start drinking again.

Sunday – SLEPT ALL DAY LONG – and went over to bug Alexis again – I think she is getting tired of me. NAW – THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!

As for my title that has to do with a private conversation! Much love to you all and hope everyone had a great weekend too!