Episode XXXIV: “Rub A Dub Dub just me in the Tub.”

OK so to be honest I had a shitty day yesterday and all I could think about for the last half of my work day was that I really just wanted to go home and take a bath. However I have a regular size bathtub and well cramming a six foot frame into it isn’t as relaxing as it sounds. So I called up Lexie’s parents and informed them I would pay them to allow me to come over and invade their home and most especially their big ass tub. What was that I’m family so I can come over (HA – I’m back in the will Lexie).

So once I lower myself into the hot water and my legs were straight and every part of my body was actually under water a sigh escaped my lips and yes I bit my lip and made the “O” face. Then not to be out done by Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman I went all the way under and I guess I was too relaxed because all of the sudden water is rushing up my nose and I’m drowning in someone bath tub WTF! (So not my day!) I come sputtering up and now my nose burns (but Hey my sinuses are cleaned out). Well I relax again and begin to almost float (with my face above water). Then Lexie comes in and asks if I want ice cream. Ice Cream while sitting in the bath – HELL YES – MAY I HAVE ANOTHER! I am a celebrity you will worship me and in preparation for that day Lexie also took a picture of me with my ice cream in the tub and then something happened and the picture got sent somewhere – of course it won’t surface until I become famous then it will be splashed all over the internet. Currently this photo resides on my phone and will be brought out at drunk moments, YeHaw! Whatever once I was done with my soak and had turned fully into a prune. I left Lexie at her parents and went home.

When I die please bury me in that tub.

P.S. Lexie’s parents are in my will (you will get a whole 5 cents each) – I will forever owe you.